


Taken Hostage (By My Own Guilty Conscience)

by xqueerhq



Series: “Hanging From A Cliff” [1]
Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra
Genre: Action, Angst, Assassin Korra, Completed, Death, F/F, F/M, Guilt, Some Fluff, Trigger Warning Chapter 2, Trigger Warning Chapter 5, Trigger Warning Chapter 6, Trigger Warning Chapter 8, Trigger Warning Chapter 9, idk man I'm bad at tags, may have a happy ending, may not
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-26
Updated: 2020-07-31
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:21:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 23,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24923020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xqueerhq/pseuds/xqueerhq
Summary: What happens when you're an assassin for an underground operation and you fall in love? More so, what happens when one of the target's daughter is the one you're in love with?T/W: Death/Gore is mentioned A LOT in this story. Specifically murder. If that makes you uncomfortable, it's probably not the story for youCompleted story! Sequel is now here!Can I Still Keep A Place In Your Heart?
Relationships: Bolin/Opal (Avatar), Korra/Asami Sato
Series: “Hanging From A Cliff” [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1858594
Comments: 52
Kudos: 137





	1. Tellin' Lies

**Author's Note:**

> Shout out to my partner who is helping me with ideas for this story. I wanted to post the first chapter to see if you guys think it's worth continuing.

“I’m sorry, Korra… It wasn’t supposed to end like this.”

With her hands bound behind her back, her head slouched, she stares at the ground. She can hear the echo of the shoes clanking against the cold concrete that her knees are resting upon.

She waits until the shoes of the person are in sight, and with the majority of strength that she has, spits the blood pouring from her mouth at them.

“Fuck. You.” She says between breaths, her body growing weaker from the beating she recently took.

Korra watches as the person moves behind her, the cold metal from the barrel of a gun pressed to the back of her head. She hears the distinct noise of the hammer of a revolver being pulled back.

“Any last words, Wan?” The armed person asks as their finger grazes the trigger.

“If you have to end my life, then do it already.” Korra says through gritted teeth. “Just fucking do it!”

“Eliminating the threat in 10-9-8-7-6-…”

* * *

“5-4...”

Korra exhales sharply as her target comes into sight in her scope, her M40A3 Bolt-Action sniper rifle pressed tightly against her left shoulder. Her finger hovers over the trigger, waiting for him to step into the main targeting chevron in her scope reticle. 

As soon as her target is in her crosshairs, her finger grips the trigger. She makes a mental note of the security surrounding him as she lightly presses the trigger. 

"3-2-1..." **-bang-** "Poof." 

Perfect shot to the left temple. Korra quickly disarms her rifle, disassembling it as she ditches it in a black Kevlar bag to her right. She slings the bag over her shoulder and bolts in the opposite direction, the gravel covering the roof lightly crunching under her swift and stealthy movements. She tosses the bag onto a rooftop that's about 50 feet across and two stories below her, throwing her body mid-air in a great leap towards her 'rendezvous' point. As the ground comes up beneath her, she tucks and rolls, picking up the rifle bag as she continues running. 

An automated voice rings through her headset. ' ** _Asami is calling. Asami is calling'._**

"Fuck," Korra curses under her lips. Of course her girlfriend was calling her, now. It's like that woman was psychic when it came to Korra working her not so 'desk' job that she claimed she had. 

She slides her left foot out, turning around the corner of the rendezvous point and catching her breath before answering the phone. 

"Hey, Sami." Korra answers, breathing hard as her chest heaves. She looks around the corner to spot her escape route before turning her attention back to her girlfriend. She makes her way over the edge of the building and clips herself into the rope at the top of the building and starts descending.

_'Korra, why are you out of breath?'_

Korra holds on to the rope with one hand and uses the other to pull out the voice recorder that she had in her pocket.  
  
“Hold on.” Korra says before yelling out “BOLIN, TENSION.”  
  
She presses a button on the recorder and from a distance it sounds like her friend, and other agent, Bolin asks “WHAT!?”  
  
“We are just at A.T. Island rock climbing.” Korra uses this moment to lower herself quickly, the brick on the building grinding under her boots and she is sure Asami heard it. “BOLIN, I SAID TENSION.”  
  
“Sorry!” the voice recorder plays in Bolin’s voice.  
  
_‘Well that sounds like fun, but I thought you guys were working today?’  
_  
“We are. Tenzin didn’t need us for a few hours, so we figured we’d come here for a bit.” Korra winces as the lie falls from her lips. She really, really hated lying.   
  
_‘That makes sense.’  
_  
Korra exhales in relief, glad her girlfriend isn’t pressing more.  
  
_‘I’ll let you get going. Tell Bolin I say hello!’  
_  
“I will. I love you.”

_'I love you, too, Korra.'_

The call ended and Korra thanked God that the conversation was over. Not that she hated talking to her girlfriend, but what was she supposed to tell her? 

Korra remembers when she first met Asami. It was three years ago when Korra, who was hired by an underground agency known as the White Lotus as an assassin to wipe out anyone who threatened the balance of the city, got the folder handed to her. Her target? Hiroshi Sato. She spent weeks surveilling her target, trying to watch his every move. However, Hiroshi was elusive, tracking him in an old-fashioned manner seemed impossible. So, when the day came that Korra decided to try and place a GPS tracker on him, she got more than she had bargained for in the form of Asami Sato. 

Now, typically, Korra would not wander into forbidden territory when it came to her job, but she couldn't help herself. And when she got caught by her boss (how, she still doesn't know), she was encouraged to continue the relationship. In their mind, it let her get even closer to her target, to be able to do top notch surveillance. 

And then the fateful moment came when it was time to eliminate her target. The disconnect between her emotions and her job weighed in. Korra killed Asami's father.

And Korra hated herself for it. What she hated even more is that she continued things with Asami after, and the lies kept stemming from there. Korra was never supposed to fall in love. It's an assassin's worst curse. 

Living a double life is not easy. Pretending that you didn't assassinate your girlfriend's father because he was selling weapons of war to rivaling cities was even worse. But it's not like she could tell her, oh no. She'd be dead within seconds if that was the case. Not even her perfect accuracy and shooting skills could get her out of that one. 

Korra hears another call coming in and she answers it as she grabs the rope tightly, holding herself in place as the monotone, distorted voice of her 'boss' floods her headset. 

_'Update?'_

"The target is dead."

_'Excellent. What's your 10?'_

"Just hit the ground..."

_'You've done well, Agent Wan. Your pay has been transferred to your account._

"Thank you, boss."

 _‘Amon was the last known giant threat to Republic City. Maybe you should take some time off.’_ The voice suggests.  
  
“With all due respect…”  
  
_‘Agent Wan, we insist. You’ve been with us for four years now, since the start of the agency. Even you deserve to take it easy. With Amon gone, there’s nothing that other agents can’t do. We’ll be in touch.’_

The line goes dead and Korra sighs as she drops to the ground. She throws her bag into the trunk, shedding off her Kevlar vest, pulling the mask off of her face, and changing into 'business' clothes before getting in the front seat.

Korra always wondered exactly who she had worked for. It crossed her mind every time she received an anonymous phone call from her 'boss'. During brief video chats, all that appeared was a dark shadow, a silhouette outlining a human, but no definitive features. And they used a voice changer, that much was obvious. But Korra never let it be known, mostly just leaving it be because she could only assume it'd end badly for her.

And she didn’t dare question anything about the White Lotus and who ran the agency. She knew they were powerful, that part was obvious. They gave her a job as an assassin, and also had ‘civilian posts’ lined up for every one of their agents so that they could live a ‘normal’ life without drawing attention to their operation. They did everything in their power to make sure people didn't know they existed, and Korra was definitely not about to question it at all, especially if she wanted to keep her life.

* * *

It's 7pm by the time Korra makes it home, walking into an empty house. Korra sighs, dropping her 'work' briefcase on the ground before making her way to the master bathroom. She looks at herself in the mirror, dirt covering her face and she's grateful that Asami’s still at work because she didn't think to wash up before returning home. She starts the shower and strips, throwing her clothes on the floor before stepping under the shower head. Water cascaded down her body as she stares blankly at the wall.

And just like a robot, she goes through the motions of washing the dirt from the rooftop off of her. Thoughts of telling Asami the truth starts to plague her mind and before she knew it, her fist comes into contact with the wall, light bruises appear on her right knuckles. She curses under her breath, using her left hand to run her fingers through her damp hair, hard and shallow breaths exasperating from her lungs.

She looks down at her arm, a scar painted across her skin. She stares at it intensely, remembering the day she acquired it. It was the day she met Asami.  
  
Korra was running surveillance on Hiroshi Sato, and on the first day, Asami knocked her off her bike and broke her elbow, resulting in a surgery, and the scar that stared back at her, replaying the memory in her mind.

* * *

**_‘Korra, are you in position?’_ ** _Bolin’s voice fills the invisible ear piece in Korea’s ear._

_“In position and waiting for the target to arrive.” Korra replies._

_She watches from an alleyway as Hiroshi Sato’s personal car turns a corner, pulling off on the side of the street. The car parks and Hiroshi gets out of the vehicle, making his way towards a restaurant._

**_‘Target vehicle is parked. And target is away from the vehicle, go now!’_ ** _Bolin orders._

_“10-4,” Korra says hastily as she starts pedaling a bike into the bike lane. In her right hand, she has a surveillance tracker, small enough to place almost anywhere without being detected. Her mission was to bike past the parked car in the bike lane, barely touch the tracker to the car and bike off._

_“Approaching target vehicle.” She says as she gets closer to the car._

_She holds her hand down by her side, ready to put the tracker in place when she suddenly feels her bike start to lose balance and the weight of a car door against her body._

_Korra flings to the ground, landing hard on her left elbow, hearing the distinct sound of bones breaking._

_“Shit.” She mutters, lying in the middle of the road._

_“Oh my god! I am so sorry!” A woman’s voice exclaims, the sound of footsteps hurrying towards her. “I didn’t see you and I didn’t mean to hit you!”_

_Korra looks over her shoulder, ready to give this woman a piece of her mind, but she stops and stares instead. In front of her stood a dark haired, green eyed woman, around her age, and Korra is taken aback by her beauty. Korra holds her breath as the woman kneels down next to her._

_“Let me help you.” The woman extends her hand._

**_‘Korra, do you need assistance?’_ ** _Bolin voice floods through her ear piece at the exact same time._

_“No.” Korra responds to Bolin, but the woman in front of her stares at her and looks worried._

**Shit. She thinks I’m talking to her.**

_“No, it’s fine. I should be okay.”_

_Korra tries to untangle herself from the bike, but it was in vain. Her elbow was surely broken, and she couldn’t get enough leverage to lift her body off the ground. She winces in pain, a groan of agony escaping her lips._

_“Are you sure?” The stranger asks, placing her hand on Korra’s shoulder. “You seem to be in a lot of pain. Let me help you.”_

_“Okay.” Korra replies, defeated._

_“I’m Asami, by the way. Asami Sato.” She smiles as she helps Korra up off the ground, holding onto her as she leads her out of the street._

**THIS is Hiroshi Sato’s daughter? Oh man, this is rich.**

_“Korra.” Korra smiles back, “I- uh... thanks for helping me. And for you know, knocking me down in the first place.”_

_“You’re welcome.” Asami chuckles. “But only on the first one. I feel terrible that I injured you. Can I at least help you to the hospital?”_

**_‘SAY YES’_ ** _Bolin demands, fully being able to hear their conversation._

_“Uh, sure?” Korra replies uneasily. “Do you mind if I just call my boss real fast and let him know I’m going to be late to work?”_

**Good lie, Korra. You may be good at this whole secret assassin-spy thing after all.**

_“Go ahead, I’ll just wait in the car.”_

_Korra nods and steps away from the car, near the trunk. She pulls her phone out and pretends to dial someone, talking through her headset Bolin._

_“Hey Tenzin! I, uhm, I got hit on my way to work and I think I may have broken my elbow.” Korra says, eyeing Bolin who is fifty feet away from her. She leans against the trunk, holding her phone between her ear and her right shoulder. She lets her right arm fall down, the tracker still in her hand as she puts it on an inconspicuous part of the trunk, next to the handle. She feels for the latch, making sure that it can’t be detected before continuing her ‘conversation’ with her ‘boss’._

**_‘Is it in place?’_ **

_“Yes, sir. I was able to drop off the needed documents before I got hit.”_

**_‘10-4. I’ll start tracking the car.’_ **

_“I would wait, sir. I’m on my way to the hospital and I would love to be there with you to approach our client.”_

**_‘You got it. Good luck. And remember, this girl is the daughter of the target. Do not let your guard down.’_ **

_“I wouldn’t dream of it, Tenzin. Thank you for understanding. I’ll see you when I’m all checked out.”_

_Bolin gestures from a distance and motions for Korra to go. She nods and puts her phone back in her pocket. She walks back towards the rear door of the car where Asami had entered. She uses her good arm to knock on the window, stepping back as the door opens as to not get hit again._

_“Everything good?” Asami asks as she helps Korra into the backseat of the car._

_“Uh, yes. I mean I’m in pain, but I think I’ll survive.”_

_“I meant with your boss,” Asami flashes Korra a wide smile. “And don’t say that just yet. We still have to get you checked out by a doctor.”_

_“Right.” Korra huffs out, trying her best to not steal glances at the attractive woman beside her. “Thanks again for offering to help, multiple times. Lord knows my stubborn ass would’ve just walked myself home without getting medical help.”_

_“It’s the least I can do since I caused this.” Asami shrugs. “I’m sorry I wasn’t paying more attention. And any medical costs that you accrue today, I would like to pay for.”_

_“Whoa, no. That’s- that’s too much. I couldn’t possibly ask you for that.”_

_“You didn’t ask. I’m offering and I want to be able to help.” Asami places her hand on Korra’s shoulder. Korra tenses at this interaction and does her best to keep her face from flushing red. “So, stubborn ass, do you accept my offer?”_

They had spent their evening at the hospital, Asami only leaving her side when Korra was wheeled away to the operating room for surgery. When she awoke, Asami was right there in the recovery room with her. She had even brought Korra a small keychain of a bat, noting that she noticed Korra had a tattoo of one. Korra appreciated the gesture, and found it oddly sweet and caring. And even though Korra was more than capable of paying for her own surgery, Asami kept her word and had the bills forwarded to her. She even took Korra out for an ‘apology dinner’ where they talked about their lives, Korra opening up and being able to be vulnerable for once in her life.

  
Since then, they’ve been inseparable, which made it harder each day for Korra to keep up with the lie. And she’s not sure what she was going to do from here.  
  



	2. Years of Idleness and Spite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get a little fluffy and a little angsty. 
> 
> What more could you expect?
> 
> T/W: Death and Gore described in this chapter. Just a FYI

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! I'm excited to present you with chapter 2 of this story!  
> I've been hard at work, plotting out everything I want to happen.  
> I can't say yet how many chapters this will be, but I'm excited. 
> 
> Also, dream is in bold italics,  
> Phone conversations are in italics.  
> Didn't want it to get confusing.

The sound of the garage door opening is the first thing that jolts Korra from her slumber on the couch. Naga, her Great Pyrenees, lifts her head and happily runs to the door, wagging her tail and waiting for Asami to arrive. Korra sighs loudly as she places her feet on the floor, trying her best to crack her crooked smile as her girlfriend enters their house.  
  
“Hey you.” Asami smiles, chuckling at Korra’s messy bed head. She happily pets Naga who is now sitting at her feet. “Did I wake you?”  
  
“Yeah, but it’s no big deal. I fell asleep on the couch with Naga.” Korra yawns. “So, I guess you can say it wasn’t the best sleep, she smothered me.”  
  
“Well, that’s what you get for letting her sleep on the couch with you, silly.” Korra sticks her tongue out at her girlfriend. “She _is_ a 112 pound dog.”  
  
Korra shakes her head, laughing. “She thinks she’s a lap dog, who could say no to that cute face?”  
  
“I know I can’t say no to yours.” Asami walks up to Korra and places a soft kiss on her lips. She notices that Korra is thinking deeply, based on the look in her eyes as she pulls away. “What’s going on in that head of yours?”

Korra shrugs. “Tenzin gave me some time off, and I was wondering… if you’re not too busy with work that maybe we could go on a vacation or something? Tenzin said he could watch Naga.”  
  
“What sparked that idea?”  
  
“I just think I need a break from the city.” Korra sighs. “Don’t get me wrong, I love it here, but I miss being on a secluded island sometimes.”  
  
“Understandable. I think we can make it work. I can always put Mako in charge for a week or so.” Asami suggests. “Where were you thinking of going?”

* * *

The pair ended up on Kyoshi Island, far enough away from Republic City that Korra felt as though she could breathe for the first time in the last couple of years. Well, sort of.  
  
Ever since her last mission, she had been thinking about her relationship with Asami. They had spent the better part of three years together, but the lies that she had told in order to get there were heavily weighing on her. Maybe because her best friend and fellow agent, Bolin, was planning on proposing to his long-time girlfriend, another fellow agent of theirs, Opal.  
  
She saw how free and happy they were with each other, and the fact that they didn’t have to lie about their jobs to one another was an added bonus. It also helped that Bolin didn’t kill Opal’s father.  
  
But when Korra fell for Asami, she fell hard and fast; first literally and then figuratively. At first, she played it off to just be some silly crush, but the more interest Asami showed in her, past asking her pretty normal, non-invasive questions, the more her curiosity and interest grew.  
  
Maybe getting away from all the negative feelings being in Republic City brought on for Korra would deteriorate now that she was away, but somehow, in the back of her mind, they still shone brightly through.  
  
Korra was feeling the anxiety rise in her chest, but she did her best not to show it. She was good at hiding her true emotions, even when it came to Asami. She had to, for both of their sakes.  
  
“It’s so beautiful out here,” Asami breathes out, closing her eyes and letting her hair blow through the breeze as they sit on the edge of a cliff, overlooking the ocean.  
  
Korra nods, “It really is. I could get used to this.”  
  
They bask in each other’s silence for a little until Korra feels a vibration in her pocket. She rolls her eyes and pulls out her phone.

 **[Bolin 17:34]:** _Here’s a link to the ring I’m looking at for Opal. Can you check it out and make sure she’ll like it?_

Korra chuckles softly under her breath as she taps the link and looks at the beautiful, emerald ring that Bolin had picked out. She lingers on the page for awhile, happiness and guilt flowing through her body. She was happy that Bolin had found someone, but felt guilty that she may never be able to have that with the person she loved.  
  
She knew eventually, she would have to tell Asami everything. She knew that she risked her life by doing so, but she also felt that it was fair. Asami deserved to know, and Korra didn’t deserve to have someone as wonderful as her girlfriend, not given the circumstances.  
  
Korra exits out of the webpage, typing out a quick affirmation that the ring was perfect to Bolin before shoving her phone back in her pocket, looking over at her girlfriend whose eyes were still closed and leaning her head on her shoulder.

She feels Asami’s hand on top of hers, fingers lazily drawing patterns on her palm. “What should we do tonight?”

Korra looks up at Asami who had finally opened her eyes, staring down at Korra’s hand.  
  
“I was thinking we could go to dinner and then maybe take one of those cool Turtle-Duck boat rides they have.” Korra suggested and she watched as a smile splayed across Asami’s face.

“I would _love_ that.”

* * *

“Do you remember that time about a month into us dating?” Asami asked as she once again played with Korra’s hand. The two were in the Turtle-Duck boat, flowing gently down a canal.  
  
“There were a lot of times about a month into us dating.” Korra teased, cuddling into Asami’s side. “Are you talking about the time when I came to your work and almost broke up with you for reasons that are still unknown to me?”  
  
Asami chuckles. “Yeah, and at the same time you said ‘I think we should take a break’ was the same time I told you that I was falling for you. Really, we have the best timing.”  
  
“Yeah…” Korra breathes out. Of course she remembers that day. It was the day that she had assassinated Asami’s father. To further herself from getting in too far over her head, she had planned to break things off with Asami, only to be met with the reality that Asami had really felt the same way about her. They had fallen and fallen fast, and it was the best and worst thing that ever happened to Korra. “I remember that day, why?”  
  
“I was just thinking about it,” Asami shrugs. “Do you want to know what I think about your reasons unknown?”  
  
“Uh… sure.” Korra sputters out.  
  
“I think that, at the time, you had problems getting close to people. I noticed you pulling away after you told me about your past. I think that you were scared to let people in, and when you started having feelings for me, you tried to run, to protect yourself from getting hurt.”

 _No, I was trying to protect you from living this lie with me…_  
  
“And I think that when you came to originally break things off with me because you were scared, I told you how I felt and everything changed.”  
  
“I’m still scared.” Korra replied honestly, earning her a confused look from Asami. “I’m still scared of losing you, losing this life we built together. I’m scared that I’m not good enough for you, that you deserve better than me. I’m scared that you’ll find something out about me that will make this go away forever.”  
  
“Find out what about you? Are you hiding something from me?” Asami asks, eyebrow arched.  
  
“No! No!” Korra immediately exclaims. “It’s just… we’re still learning things about each other, even after three years. I’m scared that you’ll unlock some deep, repressed trauma of mine that I may be completely unaware of and it’ll change things.”  
  
“Korra, listen to me.” Asami says sternly, firmly holding on to her girlfriend’s hands. “Nothing you say or do, or nothing that you have ever been in your life is going to change the way I feel about you.”  
  
“Even if I was a serial killer?” Korra jokingly asked.  
  
“I mean, are you though?”  
  
“No, but I was wondering. Would you love me even if I was a _serial_ killer? Would that change the way you feel about me?”  
  
“It’s hard to say. I’d probably be extremely disappointed, and mildly impressed. But I don’t think it’d change how I feel about _you_.”  
  
Korra smirks widely as the boat approaches the exit point. Korra holds out her hand to help Asami out of the boat.  
  
“Good to know. Because it was totally me who ate the rest of your cereal and blamed it on Naga.” Korra laughed before running away.  
  
“Wait, what!?” Asami gasped before chasing after her girlfriend. “KORRA!”

* * *

_**Blood and brain matter was everywhere as Korra stepped over the bodies of the guards she had shot from afar on the rooftop. She knew her target was in the warehouse, hidden underground in a secret laboratory.** _

_**She checks her surroundings again, making sure no one followed her as she quietly moves across the paved ground. Her eyes observe the grooves in the pavement, and she taps her boot on the ground until she hears the hollowness from below.** _

**Bingo.**

_**She moves a well placed crate, hiding a steel door below. Slowly, she opens the door and descends the stairs down into a dug out hallway. The lights flicker above her as she moves like air through the hall and reaches a blast proof door.** _

_**Finger on the trigger of her pistol, she grabs the door handle with her free hand, doing her best to keep as quiet as possible.** _

_**To no avail, the door creaks open and she can hear the groan of her target coming from inside the lab.** _

_**“I thought I told you not to bother me!” The gruff voice of Hiroshi Sato angrily cuts through the air. His back was turned to her, and she thought now was the best time to make her move. He still hadn’t turned around, even though he acknowledged her presence.** _

_**Korra lifts the gun, aiming the barrel at the back of his head. The sound of the firing pin being cocked back cuts through the air and Hiroshi turns in her direction.** _

_**“So, they’ve finally sent you to kill me.” Hiroshi sighs. “I knew this day was coming, but I didn’t think it’d come soon enough, Agent Wan.”** _

_**Korra doesn’t let the realization that Hiroshi knew who she was falter her motivations.** _

_**“Yes, I know it’s you under that mask. As if I couldn’t tell that you’ve been keeping tabs on me since the moment you met my daughter.”** _

_**Hiroshi smirks. Korra stays silent.** _

_**“By all means, do what you have to. I won’t stop you, I won’t even sound the alarm.”** _

_**Hiroshi slowly moves from the chair to the ground, kneeling in front of the assassin with his hands behind his head.** _

_**“I’ll even make it easy for you. Though, I can’t promise the guilt will.”** _

_**Korra’s finger ghosts over the trigger with the slightest pressure. Hiroshi’s words lingering in her mind. She knew exactly what he meant. It had been a month since she had started dating his daughter, against her better judgement. And what had started out as strictly dating her for recon purposes, she had actually grown to really like her.** _

_**“Do take care of Asami for me.” Hiroshi says before Korra pulls the trigger, the bullet hitting him in the forehead as he falls back. The blood pools around him on the ground and Korra starts running, only to take one last look back at the man she had just killed.** _

Korra awoke abruptly as the memory of killing Hiroshi plagued her dreams. The room she was in wasn’t familiar and it takes her a moment to realize that they were still on vacation.

She felt the bed shift, a pale arm placed lazily over her midsection.

“You okay?” A sleepy Asami asks through thin lips and closed eyes.

“Yeah, just a bad dream.” Korra shakes her head, removing Asami’s arm from her. “Go back to sleep, I’ll be fine.”

Asami nods and turns over, even breathing indicating to Korra that she had indeed fallen back asleep.

Korra sits on the edge of the bed, head in her hands as she silently curses at herself. She needed advice, and she needed it now.

She takes one look over her shoulder at her sleeping girlfriend before grabbing her phone and exiting the hotel room. She stands in the hallway, finger hovering over the person she knew would give her the best advice, her adoptive father, Tenzin.

When Korra was 8, her parents had been killed in an accident. Tenzin and Pema had adopted her and brought her from Harbor City to Republic City to live with them and their one year old daughter Jinora. Tenzin and Pema Wan were everything Korra could have asked for in parents, both doting on all five of their children. When Korra turned 18, she went to college to learn about law so she could help her father with his law firm, which was unfortunately going under a few years ago due to the competitive nature of Republic City.

And then, like some weird saving grace, a company called Metal Clan hired them as their legal team and saved the business. The owner, Kuvira, Korra later found out, was an agent at The White Lotus, and at her discretion, recruited Korra as an assassin under the pretenses of working on top secret projects that Korra would be unable to discuss due to PR reasons.

The moral of the story was that The White Lotus was powerful and had their hooks in a bunch of businesses around Republic City. It was how they were able to keep their agents’ identities a secret.

But more than anything, Korra just needed her dad. Even if she couldn’t be completely honest with him, she knew he would have the insight she needed.

The phone rings a few times before a worried Tenzin answers.

_‘Korra, is everything alright? Why would you be calling me at 8 o’clock in the morning?’_

“Hey dad. Everything is fine... I just need advice.”

_‘Oh... OH. Yes, of course, dear. What can I help you with?’_

“So, as you know... I recently helped Kuvira out with a project... and well...”

_‘Yes?’_

“All of the projects we’ve worked on have been in direct competition with Future Industries. And Asami is the CEO and I’ve been feeling guilty about lying to her about it.” Korra fibs. “I’ve been lying to her this whole time about working for the competition and I don’t know what to do anymore. Bolin’s proposing to Opal and I just see how happy they are and since they work together they don’t have to lie to each other. And like... I just feel guilty.”

 _‘I see.’_ Tenzin says softly. _‘Have you talked to Kuvira about maybe stepping back from Metal Clan?’_

“I- no.”

 _‘Maybe talk to her? See if there’s anything you can come up with. I know that we all signed non-disclosure agreements but if it’s affecting your relationship, it may be time to take a step back and focus on your future.’_ Tenzin offers.

“You’re right. I’ll just- I’ll talk to Kuvira. Thanks dad. I really needed this talk.”

_‘You know I’d do anything for you, Korra. But I must be going. Rohan and Meelo are being terrors this morning.’_

“Tell everyone I love them.” Korra smiles.

_‘I will, dear. We will see you when you get home tomorrow. Your mother has a lot planned!’_

“Doesn’t she always?” Korra chuckles. “I love you, dad.”

_‘I love you, too, Korra.’_

The line goes dead and Korra sighs loudly. She scrolls through her phone to find the next contact she needed to call: The White Lotus.

 _‘Agent Wan, to what do we owe the pleasure?’_ The distorted voice asks.

“We need to talk.“

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for tuning in! Working on Chapter 3 as we speak!  
> Be prepared for a rollercoaster.
> 
> Also, I'm thinking of writing a total fluff Korrasami story, since writing all this angst can wear on my gay soul. Thoughts?


	3. Is It Wrong To Say That Things Can Change?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end of their vacation and a stunning revelation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boom. Hi Gentle Viewers,  
> I'm busting these chapters out. I want to say that this story may be like 7-9 chapters long??????????????????  
> Not entirely sure. But I'm sure I'll figure it out soon.
> 
> Buckle up, creampuffs, you're in for a bumpy ride.

Korra dredges back to the hotel room. To say that her call with The White Lotus went horribly was an understatement. It went sour extremely fast. They reminded Korra that while she could leave and stop being an assassin, Asami could still never know what had happened to her father, or they’d kill her. Korra, to be precise, but it didn’t stop them from also saying they would come after Asami if they really felt the need to.  
  
It left Korra between a rock and a hard place, on one hand she could stop being an assassin and live a normal life from here on out, BUT she could never tell Asami the truth. And that stung a lot more than she thought it would. She knew she would get that answer, but having to bear her soul and try to do the right thing ended up hurting worse than she could imagine.   
  
Begrudgingly, she decided to stay with the organization with the promise that they wouldn’t come after Asami if Korra kept her mouth shut. It wasn’t what she wanted to hear, but what she knew she had to do. Protecting Asami came first, and Korra would be damned if she’d let them hurt her.  
  
She walks back into the room, half expecting Asami to still be asleep since she had only been gone for a little under an hour, but instead she found her girlfriend awake, and furiously typing on her work phone.  
  
“Work? I thought you put Mako in charge so we wouldn’t have to work on vacation.” Korra’s voice cuts through the air.  
  
“Well, I figured since _you_ decided to leave for 45 minutes that I should check in and make sure things aren’t falling apart.” Asami bites back. _Ouch_. “Where were you anyway?”  
  
“I was talking to my dad. Naga needed food and you know she’s particular. I was helping him get the right one.”  
  
“And that takes almost an hour? Couldn’t you have just texted him?”  
  
“I lost track of time, Asami. Jeez. You were sleeping and I called him to check in.” Korra raises her hands defensively.   
  
Asami finishes whatever email or text message she’s typing out and throws her phone on the nightstand.   
  
“I’m sorry for lashing out at you. I’m just stressed. Mako said Metal Clan is releasing a new prototype this week and it seems like it’s going to be way more advanced than what we had planned to show next month.” Asami sighs as she leans against the headboard. “Add that on to you acting a little distant and I guess I took it out on you. It wasn’t right.”

“No, you had every right. I know I’ve been a little off the past couple of days. It’s just… I don’t think I’m ready to go back to Republic City. Being out here with you, away from all the stress and responsibilities we have back in the city just made me think about a lot of things.” Korra sits down next to Asami and grabs her hand, caressing her knuckles lightly.   
  
“Like what?”  
  
“I don’t know,” Korra shrugs, “Like how much I wish we could just stay here and say ‘fuck it’ to everything else for awhile. But I know duty calls and my dad really needs me back at the firm. Especially now that Jinora’s in college, and everyone's growing up, I think he’s going a little crazy with all the teen angst.”   
  
Asami chuckles softly. “Well, he did have _you_ as a teenager once. And if I can recall a story you told me about how ‘your Aries ass always got on his nerves’ than I can only imagine what it’s like with three teenagers.”   
  
“Hey, I wasn’t _that_ bad. Just a little rebellious!” Korra playfully slaps Asami’s arm. “But enough talk about back home. Let’s just enjoy our last day here.”

* * *

If there was one moment where Korra had wished one of their friends was there to take a photo of her and Asami, it would be now. The sun was setting, the sky painted with beautiful hues of orange, pink, and purple, and Korra and Asami were walking hand in hand down the beach.

They had spent the better part of the day lazing around the hotel room, watching movies, getting ready for their early flight in the morning. But as soon as Korra and Asami’s phones both started blowing up with work emails and messages, they decided to turn them off and go for a walk. Well, Asami had decided.

Korra knew it wasn’t the best idea to ignore the demands of the White Lotus, but it’s not like she could really answer with her girlfriend next to her. Even if Asami was sitting there texting away to her colleagues about a miniature explosion that someone caused at Future Industries. Korra knew she had blown up on Asami earlier for working while on vacation, but she knew she was projecting her own inner feelings about her job on Asami and she knew it wasn’t fair. So, she paid no mind to Asami sending email after email and text after text. She really couldn’t be mad, as she was also getting messages from The White Lotus during this time period, though she chose not to respond.  
  
A familiar silence fell between them as they walked. Korra would look out of the corner of her eye at Asami, wind lighting breezing through her raven black hair, her emerald eyes glistening in the remaining sunlight; and all Korra could think about was how madly in love she was with Asami. And then the guilt hits again.

She shakes her head and looks down at the ground, the feeling of her untied shoelace under the sole of her shoe.  
  
“Asami,” Korra says softly as she lets go of Asami’s hand. “Wait.”  
  
Korra kneels down on one knee, working on tying her shoe when she hears Asami gasp, followed by ‘oh my god’. She looks up to see Asami with one hand over her mouth and one hand over her chest.  
  
“Are- Are you okay?” Korra looks at her quizzically. “Did you swallow a bug?”  
  
“I’m- I’m fine.” Asami coughs, “What, uhm, what are you doing?”  
  
Korra flashes her dorky grin and looks back down at her shoe, then back up at her girlfriend. “Well, I’m not swallowing bugs, that’s for sure. I was just tying my shoe. Ya know, so I don’t trip?”  
  
“Oh, good. Yeah, that’s uh, that’s key.” Asami stutters.   
  
Korra stands up and faces her girlfriend, a look of amusement painted across her face. “What did you think I was doing?”  
  
“Uh, nothing. It’s nothing.” Asami breathes out quickly, trying hard to hide the embarrassment and the flushed red cheeks.  
  
“OH!” Korra finally catches on. “You thought that I was…”  
  
“No! I didn’t think that.” Asami was quick to defend herself.   
  
Korra smirks and raises her eyebrow. “Oh really? It kind of seems like you did. But hey, I’m not judging.”  
  
“It kind of seems like you’re judging me.” Asami says softly, eyes flicking down to Korra’s.   
  
“Trust me,” Korra reassures. ”I’m not. Besides, now isn’t the right time.”  
  
“You’re right.” Asami smiles, grabbing Korra’s hands, pale thumbs caressing tan knuckles. “Now is definitely not the right time.”  
  
“I love you.” Korra spurts out, “You know that, right?”  
  
Asami smiles, leaning down and placing a soft kiss on Korra’s lips. “Of course, I do. And I love you, too. Let’s just enjoy the rest of our time here, okay?”  
  
“Okay.”

* * *

Korra hated flying. No, but like, she really hated it. To her, it was hilarious, only because she can jump from rooftop to rooftop, scale a wall like nobody’s business, yet she absolutely abhorred planes. Maybe it was the jet lag, maybe it was the fact she had been forced on to one after her parents’ deaths to be toted off to Republic City. She wasn’t exactly sure.  
  
So when she enters her and Asami’s house, she’s thankful, joyful even.

They’re greeted by Naga, as always. The fluffy dog almost always following Asami around like a lost puppy. Korra thought it was sweet that her dog had taken such a liking to Asami. Hell, Naga even slept on Asami’s side of the bed, curled up into her.   
  
And that was the confirmation Korra had needed a long time ago when determining whether Asami was the right person or not. If her dog chose her girlfriend over her most of the time, Korra knew she had made the right decision in a partner.   
  
It only sucked that she couldn’t be honest with her.   
  
Their time on Kyoshi Island really made Korra think. On one hand, she was excited to get away and just _try_ to live a normal life, even if just for a week. On the other hand, it made her feel all the guiltier that she chose to stay with the White Lotus.   
  
_It’s to protect Asami_. She reminds herself. _Everything you’re doing is to **protect** Asami.  
  
_“Hey, you coming?” Asami asks while heading towards their bedroom, pulling Korra out of her thoughts.   
  
Korra blinks rapidly, shaking her head. “Sorry, I was spacing out.”  
  
“I noticed. I just asked if you wanted to take a nap before the party?”   
  
“I would love that.”

* * *

The party was in full swing by the time Korra and Asami had arrived in the late afternoon. They might have overslept, and Korra was chocking it up to be the jet lag. In reality, it was because she wanted to spend as much time cuddled into her girlfriend’s back before they had to go back to their busy lives.  
  
Pema had invited them the night beforehand. She apologized for the late notice, but Jinora was coming home from her first semester at college, having passed with flying colors, and Pema couldn’t not throw a party for the teenager.   
  
As they mingled around the house, talking to relatives, co-workers, and friends, Bolin appears and asks to borrow Korra. Asami nods and goes back to talking to her co-worker and Bolin’s brother, Mako.

“What’s up, B?” Korra asks as they make their way to a part of the house where no one else was.  
  
“I got the ring.” Bolin smiled widely. “I want you to look at it.”  
  
He pulls the smalls ring box out of his pocket and opens it, handing it over to Korra. Her heart flutters at the thoughtfulness that Bolin had put into the ring. Green was Opal’s favorite color, and the pictures from the link he had sent her didn’t do the emeralds justice.  
  
“Shit, Bolin. This is really nice.” Korra replies happily. “Like, really nice. I think she’s going to love it.”  
  
“You think?” Bolin asks as he takes the ring box back, admiring the ring. “It sure is something, isn’t it? I think she’ll love it.”  
  
Korra pats Bolin on the shoulder, “Trust me, I know she will.”  
  
“Thanks, Korra.” Bolin hugs the shorter girl. “I am so happy that you’re my friend.”  
  
“Of course, I’ll always be here for you guys, you know that.”   
  
Bolin nods. “So how was vacation?”  
  
Korra sighs loudly, “It was… uh interesting.”  
  
“Oooh, trouble in paradise?” Bolin teased. Korra knew he was joking, but it didn’t make the pain she felt in her heart sting any less. “Oh shit, did something happen?”  
  
“I… I tried to quit TWL.” Korra admits, lowering her head. “I’m tired of lying to her, Bolin. I just… I love her to death and I want to spend my life with her, but I don’t think I can handle it if she doesn’t know the truth. And it’s really taking its toll on me, you know? Because she’s just _so good_ and she deserves someone who can be there for her, like 100% be there for her. Someone to be honest with her and have no secrets…”  
  
“But? I feel like there’s a ‘but’ in there.”  
  
“But when I called and tried to leave, they threatened to kill me and possibly her. I can’t live with that either. I’m just conflicted and it fucking sucks, man.” Korra groans, trying her hardest to fight back the tears forming in her eyes. “I just- you and Opal, you have no secrets and that’s what I want with Asami. I know I shouldn’t let it get any further, but I’m being selfish and letting it continue. I just want her to be happy, and I want to marry her some day, but I just don’t think… think that I could go through with it.”  
  
Bolin wraps his arms around Korra, pulling her into a tight hug. “Hey, hey. It’s okay. I know things are hard right now, but you’ll figure something out. You’re Korra Wan! Crazy, smart, intuitive, and a damn good shot. Asami loves you and she’s happy with you.”  
  
“But I’m not happy with me, Bo!” Korra sobs into her friend’s shoulder. “I just want to live a normal life with the girl I love; no lies, just love. And I can’t even do that.”  
  
“You’ll figure it out, I know you will. Just give it time.”  
  
Bolin was right. Korra just had to give it time. Maybe, one day, in the near future, Korra could rid herself of the White Lotus and tell Asami everything. She knew how it would end, with Asami leaving, because who wouldn’t leave the person who killed your father? But then Korra could have the weight of the world lifted off of her shoulders. She could try and be a better person.   
  
As Korra walks down the hall, she passes a room, the door barely open, a familiar voice cutting through the air. Korra halts, dead in her tracks as she hears the words being said.   
  
“I don’t know what to think anymore—No, you listen to me, Z. He was holding a ring and specifically told her and I quote ‘It sure is something, isn’t it? I think she’ll love it’. It was the same ring she was looking at while we were on vacation. I think she is going to propose to me and _you_ of all people know why I wouldn’t be able to accept it… Of course, I’m not going to ruin this—I understand… I have to go.”   
  
And as soon as the words left Asami’s lips, Korra felt her whole world crashing down around her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, not sorry for the cliffhanger. 
> 
> I'm kind of a sucker for them.
> 
> Until next time!


	4. Petrified of Where Our Future's Going

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Korra has a heart-to-heart with Kya  
> The White Lotus is up to something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the cliffhanger, but I am back with a new chapter!  
> This story will have about four more chapters; and maybe (seriously maybe, nothing is set in stone) a short follow up story

The shocking revelation took a while for Korra to process. Her eyes wide, her hands gripped tightly in fists at her side. Everything felt like it had come crashing down around her. Korra wanted so badly to run, but her feet stayed planted where she stood. She glanced back in the room, watching as her girlfriend leaned against a cabinet with her head in her hands. She had every intention of going in and asking Asami what was wrong, but she knew she would be met with a front. And ouch, did that sting.

Her mind tried to fathom what Asami may possibly be hiding from her. What reason, that this other person knew of, would make Asami say what was said. It pained Korra to no end, but she couldn’t let herself falter. Even if she had just poured her heart out to Bolin, even if she had admitted to him that she wanted to marry Asami; she could not let her expression let anyone know of what she just heard. Not now, anyway.

Korra swallows her pride and tries her best to hide her recently bruised ego. She drags herself back to the party, double life facade shining brightly as she smiles widely at the guests.

She spots Jinora out of the corner of her eye and heads over to her. “Congrats on your first semester, sis.”

Korra wraps her arms around her younger sister, Jinora smiles and returns the hug.

“Thanks, Korra.” Jinora replies happily, pulling away and looking around the house, “Hey, where’s Asami?”

“I don’t know,” Korra lies, trying not to let her disappointment show. “I was talking to Bolin, so I don’t know where she ran off to.”

“That’s okay.” Jinora reassures, sensing something a little off with her sister.

Korra musters up a smile and pats Jinora on the shoulder as their aunt Kya walks up to them.

“Congratulations, little one!” Kya exclaims happily while hugging Jinora. “I’m so proud of you.”

“Thanks Kya!” Jinora replies.

“And how are you, Korra?” Kya asks, arms crossed and an eyebrow raised. “Just got back from a nice vacation?”

“Definitely! I didn’t want to come home.” Korra chuckles. She excuses herself from Jinora and pulls Kya aside. “Can we take a walk and uhm, talk? I need to get something off my chest.”

“Of course, dear!”

“Cool,” Korra breathes out. “Let me just go find Asami real fast.”

But there was no need. As soon as she said that, she hears her younger brother Meelo speak up loudly.

“Hey, pretty lady! Don’t look upset, Meelo will cheer you up!” He says jubilantly.

Korra can see the forced smile on Asami’s face and her heart falls into the pit of her stomach. She heads over to where Asami was, telling Meelo to go play with Rohan.

“Hey, you okay?” Korra asks, trying not to pry, but yearning for some hint of honesty from her girlfriend. Anything to reassure Korra that everything was okay even after she had just eavesdropped on Asami’s phone call.

“Yeah, just work stuff I should go take care of.” Asami pulls her arm closer to her, gripping it tightly against her side.

Korra nods, disappointed, but does her best not to show it. “Understandable. You can take the car, I’ll catch a ride home with Kya.”

“Thanks for understanding.” Asami smiles softly, leaning forward and just barely brushing her lips against Korra’s. “I’ll see you later.”

As Asami turns around, Korra presses her lips together in thought.

“Asami! Wait!” Asami turns around and looks at Korra, emerald green eyes burning holes in her cyan ones. “Never mind. It’s not important. I’ll see you at home.”

Asami just nods, head ducked down as she exits the house.

**_What am I going to do!?_ **

* * *

After hanging around the party for another half hour or so, Korra and Kya finally managed to get out of the house and go for a walk. Though, most of the walk had been silent, Korra trying to process everything that had happened in the last couple of hours.  
  
Part of her was upset that Asami would lie to her, but then she realizes the double standard and kills the thought instantly. She didn’t know what to think, anymore. When Asami said what she had said, Korra felt like the ground had been pulled out from beneath her. Like she was falling into some sort of hole with no strength to grab the side and hold on.  
  
Korra so desperately wanted to know who and what Asami was talking about, the reasons behind stating what she had. But she was coming up with nothing.  
  
“Okay, kid.” Kya breaks the silence. “You look like something’s on your mind. Lay it on me.”  
  
“I—I overheard Asami talking on the phone with someone. And I don’t want to get ahead of myself, but I feel like she’s hiding something from me and I don’t know what to do.” Korra admits, looking down at the ground.  
  
“Hey, stop real fast.” Kya stops walking and turns to Korra, hands placed on her shoulders. “You have every right to be questioning things. But you’re going to have to give me more than that.”  
  
Korra bites her lower lip and sighs. “She said that she thinks I was going to propose to her, and that this person knew why she couldn’t accept it. Do you think she knows that I work for Kuvira? For Metal Clan?”  
  
“She might. And I know you have some non-disclosure agreement with them, but have you thought about telling her?” Kya pries.  
  
“Yes, I have… but Metal Clan is what’s keeping dad’s business alive. I can’t screw the law firm over. I won’t.” Korra finally looks up at her aunt. “But if she knew that I was working for Metal Clan and that I’ve been lying to her, I wouldn’t blame her for not wanting to marry me. I’ve been lying to her from the start. It just hurts. I wish she would tell me what’s going on in that pretty little head of hers, but I don’t want to push it and have her pull away from me. I’m not ready for that, yet.”  
  
“I bet she’ll tell you. But you need to give it time. Maybe she’s just scared to get married. Lord knows I acted that way when I thought Lin was about to propose to me, no ulterior motives, just scared.”  
  
“You’re right. I’m totally overreacting right?” Korra’s wide eyes looking for answers.  
  
“You might be,” Kya chuckles. “But it wouldn’t be love if you didn’t overreact at some points.”

By the time that Korra and Kya had made it back to the house, they’re greeted by Lin who was standing outside with her arms crossed.  
  
“There you two are, I was wondering where you went.” She says unenthusiastically.  
  
“Just went for a walk and talk,” Kya smiles as she walks on to the porch and hugs her wife. “Korra needs some advice about Asami and Metal Clan. Maybe you can say something to her.”  
  
“Must I?” Lin deadpans.  
  
“Please????” Kya pleads and Lin sighs, walking up to Korra on the sidewalk.

“Hey kid.” Lin pulls her lips into a tight smile. “As sure as the tide kisses the shoreline, the sun gives itself away to the night.”  
  
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Korra asks, eyebrow raised in confusion.  
  
Lin shrugs. “I don’t know, man. Like love will have its sacrifices or something.”

Lin walks back up to the porch, leaving Korra with her mouth agape on the sidewalk. She looks back and smiles genuinely at her before grabbing Kya to head inside.  
  
“What did you say to her?” Kya pokes Lin’s shoulder.  
  
“Just the truth, but in a very _me_ way.” Lin chuckles.  
  
“Of course, you did.” Kya winks.  
  
“Oh shut up, you love me.” Lin teases.  
  
“That I do.”

* * *

“I mean, what did she mean by that philosophical crap?” Korra throws her hands up in the air, pacing around the living room while Naga watches her with a tilt head. “Love will have its sacrifices? Haven’t I already sacrificed enough already?”  
  
Naga just whines, moving over to Korra and putting her head against her side, begging for pets. Korra lowers her arms and pets her dog on the head.  
  
“You still love me, right, girl?” Korra asks as she kneels down and snuggles into Naga. “I mean, I’m sure Asami still does, too. I’m just conflicted.”  
  
Naga lets out a small woof, rubbing her face against Korra’s.  
  
“I’m doing the right thing, right? By protecting her?” Korra sighs, standing up and patting Naga. “I hope I’m doing the right thing.”  
  
Naga just looks up at Korra, eyes wide, tail wagging.  
  
“You’re right, Naga.” Korra nods. “I’m doing everything I can to protect Asami, and my family. It’s just not under the circumstances I thought it’d be by this point.”

Naga licks Korra’s hands then happily trots away, plopping down on the couch.  
  
“I’m losing my mind. I’m having a full-on conversation with my fucking dog.” Korra groans, as she stands in the middle of the living room.

A small beeping noise echoes through the room, indicating that she was getting a notification on her laptop. She exhales loudly as she walks over to the couch and sits down next to Naga.

**‘The White Lotus would like to video chat with you’**

“Shit,” Korra rubs her eyes, finger hovering over the cursor. “I don’t want to deal with these guys, today.”

She lets the call decline, immediately startled by her laptop beeping again.  
  
**‘The White Lotus would like to video chat with you’**

“Fine.” Korra says as she answers the call, a silhouette of an agent appearing on her screen.  
  
_‘Agent Wan, move to a secure location.’_ The distorted voice demands.  
  
“I am at a secure location.”  
  
_‘You are on the couch. Move to a secure location.’_  
  
“Didn’t realize you were the fucking couch police.” Korra mutters as she stands up and grabs her laptop, heading towards the upstairs. Once she’s in a room with the door closed, she sits down on the ground. “There, happy?”  
  
_‘We have your next assignment.’_  
  
The silhouette then disappears and a photo of her uncle, Unalaq, shows up on the screen.  
  
“Wait, what?”  
  
Korra’s brow furrows in confusion. She hadn’t thought of her Uncle Unalaq in years, and while she didn’t know much about him, she was almost certain that he wasn’t a terrible guy.

 _‘He has been working with Varrick Global Industries, weaponizing the South.’_  
  
“I can’t kill him, he’s my uncle!” Korra retaliates.

 _‘You will do this, Agent Wan.’_  
  
“No, that’s—you’re asking me to kill a family member!”

_‘That didn’t stop you from killing Hiroshi Sato, or need we remind you of that?’_

“That’s—not the point.” Korra chews on her lower lip. “He’s **my** family.”  
  
_‘And he is responsible for your parents’ deaths. You will do this.’_  
  
“No, I—I can’t.” Korra bears her teeth.  
  
A photo of Bolin and Opal then clouds the computer screen.

 _‘It would be a shame if you were to miss their wedding.’_  
  
Then a photo of Jinora on campus shows up.

_‘Or if your sister never got to graduate.’_

The last straw was a photo of Kya, dressed in her doctor’s lab coat.

_‘Or if something were to **happen** to your dear Aunt.’_

The fear was rising in Korra. The White Lotus knew _everything_ about everyone she cared about. The threat had always been there, but it was starting to become much more real.  
  
“Okay, Jesus fucking Christ, I’ll do it.”

_‘Varrick Global Industries, two days. Just as easily as we made you into something, we can make you into nothing.’_

The agent hangs up the video call leaving Korra to sit in the empty room, breathing heavily. She had her reserves about killing Unalaq, who wouldn’t? But the last words of the agent started echoing through her mind. She knew how much of a threat the White Lotus posed, but she wasn’t willing to give them what they wanted, nor was she willing to let them hurt anyone that she loved and cared for.  
  
Korra picks herself up from the ground, and slams her laptop shut.  
  
“Didn’t realize I got Agent Buzz ** _kill_** , today.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shit is getting real, real fast.
> 
> Tune in next time! :D


	5. All I Ever Wanted Was To Make Things Right

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Korra struggles with her emotions and her new mission. 
> 
> T/W: Death, violence, blood, minor suicidal thoughts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're almost to the end. This story will probably be finished before the end of July.  
> I have a question for y'all at the end, so stick around.
> 
> Also this is the longest chapter I've written for this story. Enjoy :D

Korra had been lying in bed, awake, and full of dread for the past couple of hours. Mind swirling, thoughts and emotions twisting and almost begging to be pulled apart. A pit emerges in her stomach as she imagined how the next few days would go, killing her uncle, lying to Asami. Her resolve slowly breaking down.

She thought of telling Asami the truth; running, fleeing, only to be brought back to the reality of the White Lotus’s threats against her. How far they were willing to go to uphold her secret life; who they would hurt in order to get what they wanted.  
  
Fear.  
  
Anger.

At the want to do something completely out of character and downright stupid that Korra tried to get her brain to stop trying to fathom such an idea.   
  
Hurt.

She was so shrouded by her thoughts that she could barely tell when there was a dip in the bed, signaling that Asami was there with her. A pale arm draped across her waist. She instinctively grabs the hand she knew was there, lacing their fingers together.  
  
“I didn’t realize you were awake.” Asami’s voice is soft, soothing.   
  
Korra pulls her closer, not wanting to let her words fail her now. Trying so hard to not allow her brain to muster up the phrases that she so desperately wanted to say.   
  
“I couldn’t sleep.”   
  
She can feel Asami snuggling into her back. “Is everything okay?”  
  
“I should be asking you the same thing.” Korra cranes her neck to try and meet Asami’s eyes; a look of uncertainty clouding the green that was so vibrantly shining earlier in the day. “You seemed a little upset when you left earlier.”  
  
Asami pulls her lips into a tight smile, unconvincing to Korra but she wouldn’t let it be known. “I just have a lot on my plate. Work, you know?”  
  
Korra nods, flipping around to face her girlfriend, the one she loved so damn much. Cyan eyes meeting emerald ones, both glistening with pain and precariousness.   
  
“I do know.” Korra says, just above a whisper. “I—uhm—I have to stay late the next couple of days at the firm. My dad is prepping a case.”  
  
Guilt.   
  
Guilt striking every fiber and inch of Korra’s being as the lie falls past her lips. The knowledge of her true intentions settling in her chest; the reminder that she was to kill her uncle.  
  
She tries her best not to show it, to put up that façade she had mastered so many years ago.  
  
“That’s okay.” Asami reassures and Korra can feel her breathing even out, if only by a little. “I have to leave town, again. We got an offer for an industry near Ba Sing Se. I’m supposed to present our proposal in a few days.”  
  
“Oh.” Was all Korra could muster. She tried to not let the disappointment show. Because all she really needed was time with Asami, time to mull over every racing thought in her mind. Time to recollect and reallocate how she felt about everything that has transpired up until now.  
  
“But until then, I have you all to myself. Let’s make the best of it.” Asami leans forward, pressing a light kiss to Korra’s lips. “Well, aside from you working. But it feels like our duties never stop.”  
  
“They don’t,” Korra chuckles, trying to make light of a shitty situation. “But I’d love to spend as much time with you as possible.”  
  
The next two days flew by, and time grew shorter. True to her word, though, Asami had decided to work from home so that they could spend most of the days together, even if it was just them lazing around the house while working. It was definitely the distraction she needed before her next mission.  
  
She wasn’t entirely sure how she would feel going into it or walking away from it, for that matter. She dare not question The White Lotus, but she never once remembered anything about her uncle that seemed like he needed to be taken care of. He was a fisherman. Korra remembers spending time on his boat when she was younger, before she was uprooted and adopted to Republic City and Tenzin’s family.   
  
Korra double checked her trunk and duffel bag, making sure she had everything she needed for the mission. Luckily, she was able to grab her guns from the secret compartment she had installed in the closet when she moved in, without Asami noticing she was hauling away her duffel bag to the garage. She slams the trunk down and heads back inside.   
  
Asami was sitting on the couch, face burrowed in her laptop as she furiously typed away, most likely on her proposal. Korra smiles as she walks over to the couch, sitting down next to Asami and putting her head on her shoulder.  
  
“Are you ready for the case?” Asami asks, looking up from her laptop.   
  
Korra buries her face in Asami’s shoulder, shaking her head and muffling, “no.”  
  
She can feel Asami’s hand under her chin, lifting her head up. Emerald eyes glistening in the low light of the living room, a sincere smile pasted across thin, painted lips.   
  
“You got this.” Asami kisses Korra. “You’re smart, and wonderful, and I know you’ll really help bring this case to the top.”  
  
“Thanks.” Korra replies sheepishly. “I just don’t want our time together to end.”   
  
“You’ll be back before you know it, and then we have a couple more days before I have to leave. We can just soak in the next few moments we have together.”  
  
“You make it sound like they’ll be our last.” Korra says aloud, not really thinking through her words.   
  
“They won’t.” Asami reassures. “Only for the time being. Now, go. Go help Tenzin win a big case.”

* * *

Anxiety.  
  
Korra can feel her hands shaking as she positions herself on a rooftop overlooking Varrick Global Industries. She spots her uncle park his car in a dimly lit alleyway before entering through a side door. Now all she had to do was wait.  
  
And think.  
  
And reconsider everything.  
  
Korra doesn’t know how much time has passed, but she could feel her heart racing with each minute that ticks down on her watch. The innate fear she had about wanting to do something stupid floods back through her veins, almost as if it was taunting her brain.  
  
Uncertainty.  
  
She doesn’t know what she’s doing, but she feels like she’s having some weird out of body experience. She can feel her feet retreating to the edge of the roof where her anchor and rope were. The next thing she knows, she’s on the ground, walking towards the car.  
  
She pulls the door handle and is surprised to find the car unlocked. She slips into the back seat lying in wait as the hands on her watch continue to move forward.  
  
She doesn’t exactly know what part of her decided to break protocol. Maybe it was the fact that she wanted answers from her uncle, answers she could only get if she went against the White Lotus and got for herself before Unalaq died.   
  
Korra braces herself as the door leading to the alleyway slams shut, echoing off the brick walls. Unalaq gets into the driver’s seat and turns the engine over, not realizing the guest he had in his backseat.  
  
She lifts her pistol and presses it to the back of his head.  
  
“Drive.” She demands.  
  
She can hear the fear in his voice as he asks where they’re going. She tells him to go to his boat.  
  
She keeps the gun pressed to his temple as he drives. She can see his eyes avert every so often to the rearview mirror and she’s thankful she’s wearing a mask so he can’t tell who she is.  
  
As the car pulls up to the harbor, Unalaq puts it in park. Korra demands that he get out of the car and on to his boat, following him with the gun pressed to his back. They depart from the harbor and into the ocean towards Air Temple Island.  
  
“Wh—what do you want from me?” Unalaq stutters, his eyes wide with terror.   
  
“What were you doing at Varrick Global Industries?”  
  
“I came to pay off a debt, for this boat. See, Varrick leant it to me after my last one crashed. Why are you here? Who are you?”  
  
“My employer seems to think you’ve met with Varrick to weaponize Harbor City.” Korra says in a monotone voice.  
  
“No—No I would never do that!” Unalaq rushes out. “I only came to pay him back for the boat, I swear.”  
  
Korra moves closer to the helm where Unalaq was steering the boat. “What happened to Tonraq and Senna Waters?”  
  
Unalaq freezes and grips the wheel tightly.   
  
Fury. Rage.  
  
Korra is completely blinded by the two. All sense lost as she can feel the heat rise up her face, radiating off the inside of her mask. She doesn’t know what comes over her, but she bares her teeth; the voice call playing over and over in head as if to make her lose her mind.

**_‘And he is responsible for your parents’ deaths. You will do this.’_ **

Korra grabs him, spinning him around and slamming him into the steering apparatus, the force causing it to lock up and become un-steerable.   
  
“I said what happened to—”   
  
“I heard you!” Unalaq cries out in fright. “Who are you!?”  
  
Korra lets go of him, trying to let her anger subside. Guilt at the thought of what she was doing, for letting her emotions get the best of her. She takes a step back, horrified at the display of rage she had just shown to someone who had nothing but honesty in his voice.  
  
“I’m—I’m sorry.” Korra replies softly, grabbing the bottom of her mask and ripping it off of her head.  
  
“Korra…? It—It can’t be.” Unalaq whispers. “Why—Why are you doing this?”  
  
“I’m not, I can’t.” Korra’s resolve breaks and tears start falling from her eyes. “I can’t do this.”  
  
Unalaq cautiously steps towards her, wrapping her up in his arms. “I have wondered about you every day for 17 years. I never thought I’d see you again.”  
  
“Why didn’t you take me in after my parents died!?” Korra’s cries as she grips his shoulders tightly, sobbing into his shoulder.   
  
Unalaq steps away from her, head down. “I couldn’t. I’ve lived with the guilt every single day of what happened to your parents. And I couldn’t live with myself if I had a constant reminder of them around. Korra, do understand, I loved you and your parents so much. I never meant for any of this to happen.”  
  
“Everything is so fucked up, now. I always wonder what my life would’ve been like if I could have stayed in Harbor City.” The guilt floods back and Korra looks up to her uncle with pleading eyes.   
  
“I wish you could have, too. And I’m sorry…” Unalaq takes in a deep breath, exhaling loudly through his nostrils. “Korra, my greed… my stupidity got your parents killed. I won’t ever deny that, in fact, I’ve lived with that pain every day since. They came out to help me with a catch, it was supposed to be a great day. But I ignored signals from the weather that things were going to get worse. I thought, if we could just finish this last big catch, we’d be able to live comfortably for a while. But the storm came and threw us off course and into an iceberg. I was found the next day, but your parents never were. Oh, Korra. I’m so sorry.”  
  
The hurt panged her heart. She had never been told the full story of what happened to her parents, only that they had been in an accident.

And then, she feels the planks on the boat rumble, as if the earth was crumbling in around her. She takes this as a sign, the one she had been searching for to just tell someone the truth for once in her life. She felt as though, the ground was going to cave in and swallow her whole, and she couldn’t live with herself if she didn’t say something before it completely engulfed her.  
  
“I need to tell you something!” Korra yells over the sound of the boat crashing into the side of Air Temple Island. They had been so wrapped up in their emotions and talk that they completely forgotten they were even on the boat. “I—I work for an underground agency as an assassin. They sent me here to kill you because they believe you’re weaponizing the south with Varrick. I don’t believe them, though. And I’m not going to do it.”  
  
Korra then smells gasoline and feels the heat coming from under the haul of the boat at an alarming rate.

“I think she’s going to blow. Come with me.” Korra extends her hand out to her uncle, both trying to keep their balance as the ship jostles. “Please, come with me.”  
  
“No, Korra. I can’t. I caused all of this. If I am to die this way, then so be it. I am finally at peace now that I could tell you everything.” Unalaq smiles sincerely.  
  
“Unalaq, no! Please, come with me!”   
  
“You need to jump.”  
  
Korra nods, tears streaming down her face as turns around and runs for the stern of the boat. As she jumps, she can feel the explosion push her forward, a piece of scrap metal hitting her in the elbow that she had once broken when she met Asami. She crashes into the ocean, gritting her teeth and bearing through the pain as she swims towards the harbor of Air Temple Island. She stops and wades in the water, looking back at the fiery debris falling back into the ocean.  
  
“I’m sorry.”

* * *

Hurt.  
  
Anger.  
  
Fear.  
  
Korra had finally managed to get back to Republic City, her elbow swollen and most likely injured, but it was the last thing on her mind. Her thoughts swirled with so many emotions, she’s surprised she can even think straight.  
  
Unalaq was innocent, and the White Lotus wanted him dead. But why? How had they known about her parents and the accident? What **_didn’t_** they know? They were so powerful that it terrified Korra half to death that she would be next, especially for breaking protocol. It angered her that they tried to make her kill her uncle. It hurt that they never got to spend more time together.   
  
But she also felt a weight lifted off of her shoulders. She had finally told someone. Someone outside of the White Lotus what she did for living.   
  
_Now if only I could tell Asami_.  
  
She had waited around before going home, partly due to the fact that she needed to dry off, and also due to the fact that she was ripped to pieces over her uncle’s death.  
  
 _Maybe I don’t deserve to be alive, anymore. Maybe I’ve caused families too much pain without even knowing so._  
  
She trudges into the house, dropping her jacket on the arm of the couch. She stares blankly around the living room, a light coming from the bedroom signaling that Asami was probably in bed reading or asleep. She quietly makes her way up, Asami curled into Naga’s side as they slept peacefully. She smiles halfheartedly as she peels her clothes off, throwing them into the hamper and starting the shower.  
  
The mixture of saltwater and dirt stuck to her skin like sick reminders of what had transpired. She goes through the motions, as she always does, of mindlessly washing the grime off of her. But this time it was different. This time she could feel her chest heave, her breathing becoming shallow as she sobs, the water washing away the tears falling down her cheeks. And just like she had done a couple of weeks before, she slams her fist against the wall in anger, pain, and agony.

However, this time, it backfires. She feels agonizing pain shoot up her arm and to her elbow as her fist connects with the shower wall. She had completely forgotten that a piece of scrap metal had hit her in the elbow, a gash almost similar to the scar from her surgery very present on her arm. She was so wrapped up in everything that she hadn’t even noticed the tear in her shirt or that she was bleeding the entire way home.  
  
“Shit!” She screams so loudly that it echoes off of the walls. “How the fuck am I going to explain this to Asami?”  
  
The blood continues to spill from the wound, light red as it mixes with the water. Korra shuts off the shower and gets out, grabbing one towel for her body, and a hand towel to wrap her wound in.   
  
“I should really go get this checked out by Kya…” Korra thinks aloud. “Maybe she can stitch me up or something.”  
  
“Korra, are you okay? What do you mean ‘stitch you up’?”   
  
Korra jumps at Asami’s startling voice.   
  
“What happened?”  
  
“I—I…” And the sobs were back, the dry heaving as she tried to catch her breath. She can feel Asami’s hand on her bare shoulder, rubbing soothing circles across her skin. She finally is able to recapture her composure, looking up to Asami with hurt filled eyes.

“I found out that my uncle died in a boating accident when I was leaving the office. I was so distraught that I wasn’t paying attention and I tripped over something and fell into something. There was a sharp pain but I thought it was just because of my elbow being sensitive from the surgery a couple years ago.” Korra unwraps the towel, the gash still bleeding profusely. She hears Asami gasp as hands fly over her mouth. “I didn’t realize how bad it was until now.”  
  
“Shit.” Asami says in a worried voice. “We need to get you to the hospital, like now.”  
  
 ** _And so, the lie continues._**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I mentioned there may be a follow up story (still determining that). BUT  
> I had a thought.
> 
> A story comprised of cute, fluffy, and some dramatic chapters that show Korra and Asami's relationship over the last three years. (Since we don't really get to go there that much).
> 
> Yes? No?


	6. Part One: You've Yet To See The Worst...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Korra is having a rough time. Asami leaves for Ba Sing Se  
> Everyone is questioning everything. 
> 
> Part 1 of 2.
> 
> T/W: suicidal behaviors (implied).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Guys! So, this chapter was originally only going to be one chapter, but it got long (for my standards) and I'm splitting them into two parts.
> 
> Part 1: You've Yet To See The Worst...  
> Part 2: ...Of Humans Acting 
> 
> (In case y'all wanted to know the titles)?

Luckily for Korra, her Aunt Kya had been at the hospital and used her doctorly expertise to stitch her back up. Korra was thankful for that matter, however, she was _not_ thankful for Kya poking and prodding as to how she had gotten the wound in the first place.  
  
But it was easy enough to explain away. Korra had been the only one ‘at the office’ that late at night so she could feign being delivered the news of her uncle’s demise from a ‘third party in Harbor City’.  
  
The aftermath of her mission, though, was something left to be desired. Korra had been repeatedly reprimanded and threatened by the White Lotus for breaking protocol, the agent going on about how they were going to clean this mess up since Unalaq was not killed in the desired location to give them easy access to removing the body and traces of what had happened.  
  
But they had gotten what they wanted, even if they were unaware of exactly how it went down. Even if they didn’t know that Korra _didn’t_ kill her uncle and that he had sacrificed himself. His body had been washed away by the ocean by the time the ‘clean-up crew’ made it over to Air Temple Island, only remnants of the boat remaining.  
  
And for that, Korra was thankful.  
  
But as each day passed and the lie grew, Korra felt herself detaching from the world and her friends and family. She had felt so free after telling Unalaq the truth, and now she was forced back into the hollow shell she once was, to continue living the lie in order to protect those around her.  
  
It was damn near ripping her apart.  
  
She had sulked around the house for days, either walking around like a mindless zombie, or sleeping. She knew that Asami could probably tell something was off, but she just couldn’t bring herself to speak.  
  
She became reclusive, deleting her social media accounts to escape from the constant worry of her family members. She hardly answered her phone, if not to send a few texts to friends. She had even given stuff to Bolin and Opal, though, claiming to Asami it was for their wedding and it was junk she didn’t need. She had no idea that she was exhibiting signs of something dark and sinister brewing in her. Signs of possibly wanting to end one’s life.  
  
But she was oblivious to that. Oblivious that the things she was doing could be worrisome to those who loved her. To her, this was her way of coping with things, while unhealthy, it worked for her. Basking in her thoughts and emotions, trying to reconnect all the dots of what had led her to where she was now. Disconnecting from the world for a bit.  
  
And then, as the days grew closer to Asami having to leave for Ba Sing Se, she started coming back to reality. She started noticing that something about Asami was off, but she couldn’t pinpoint what it was.

She noticed that for the first time since they moved in together, Naga no longer slept next to Asami.  
  
It piqued Korra’s interest, but she didn’t let it be known that she knew something was up; or that she felt like something was up. She quietly observed her girlfriend’s behavior, but to no avail. She could find nothing that would indicate some crazy conspiracy theory her girlfriend was involved in.  
  
Maybe it was Korra acting differently, more reserved than usual, that caused Asami to also start not acting like herself. Korra knew Asami was probably worried about her, but with not being able to tell her the truth, Korra just stayed silent about how she truly felt and wallowed in her self-pity alone.

* * *

Korra awoke to a dark, quiet morning. Asami had already left for work, something about finishing up her proposal before she left later that day, if Korra remembers correctly. Naga was snuggled up at the foot of the bed near her, peacefully sleeping.  
  
She stretches as she looks over towards the clock, groaning when she realized how late she had slept in. A piece of paper lay on her nightstand, and Korra rubs the sleep away from her eyes as she goes to read it. She smiled at Asami’s beautifully flowing handwriting as her eyes scan the words.  
  
 **Morning babe!**

**I’m sorry I left so early this morning, but I had some things to finish up. I thought, if you wanted, that you could swing by the office today and we could have lunch before I left? I told Mako this morning to give you clearance to the parking garage, and you can park next to me if you decide to come. It’s hot out today, so I didn’t want you to fry in your car once you got back in it :P  
  
I know things have been difficult for you since you lost your uncle, so know that you are under no obligation to come by today. I just thought it’d be nice to spend a couple of hours with you before not getting to see you for a few days.  
  
Korra, I love you. I hope you know that and I hope that you know that no matter what life throws at us, we can make it through. **

**Hopefully see you later,  
Asami :) **

Korra can feel her heart swell as she finishes reading the note, it gave her hope. But it also made her upset. What did she ever do to deserve someone as caring, wholehearted, and just good as Asami?  
  
She still didn’t know, but she set those thoughts to the side.  
  
 **[Korra 11:45]:** What time are you leaving today? I’d love to stop by, I just gotta get ready  
  
 **[Asami 11:50]:** _3! Don’t forget, you can park in the garage. Your license plate should scan in our system and let you in with no problems :)_

* * *

It’s a little after noon that Korra was able to make it to Future Industries. Luckily, the office was close to their house, so as soon as Korra got ready and changed the dressing over her stitches, she was out the door and in the parking garage less than 10 minutes later.  
  
She holds her breath as the elevator leads her up to Asami’s office on the top floor, and she revels at how big the building was. She hadn’t really stepped foot in Future Industries much, and Korra’s memory decided to replay the day that Korra had come here for the first time to tell Asami that they should stop seeing each other.  
  
She shuddered at the memory as the elevator dings and the doors open, revealing the large lobby that led to Asami’s office. She’s greeted by Zhu Li, Asami’s assistant.  
  
“Good afternoon, Korra.” Zhu Li looks up from her computer, smiling at her. “Miss Sato is in a meeting, it will just be a few more minutes. You can head back and wait outside of her office.”  
  
“Thanks, Zhu Li.”  
  
Korra takes a seat in a chair, just a few feet away from Asami’s office door, and twiddles her thumbs as the nervousness sets in her stomach. She can feel it twist and turn in knots, and she’s not entirely sure why she’s feeling the way she is. There’s so much she wants to tell Asami, but she’s not sure how, and she thinks that maybe, just maybe, that’s why she can barely keep her usual calm composure.  
  
The door opens and Korra is jolted out of her thoughts, eyebrow raising when she sees who leaves the office.  
  
“Kuvira? What are you doing here?”  
  
Kuvira looks down at Korra who’s eyes are wide with shock. The door closes behind her and she shrugs. “Just trying to come to some business terms. It’s good to see you, Wan, if you know what I mean. It’s been a bit.”  
  
And Korra knows exactly what Kuvira means. After her, as the White Lotus called it, little stunt on Unalaq’s boat, Korra had been forced to take a break to ‘think about how much her actions could have jeopardized everything’. Their words, not hers. Kuvira just nods at Korra as she exits the area back to the lobby, leaving Korra feeling almost worse than how she felt when she arrived.  
  
She stands up, holding in her breath as she knocks on Asami’s office door before entering. And then, just like so many more times before, the sight of Asami sitting there with a radiant smile on her face at the sight of Korra being there made all of her worries wash away.  
  
“You made it.” Asami beams, and Korra can tell she’s surprised. “I mean, I knew you said you were coming, I just—”

“No, I get it.” Korra rubs the back of her neck. “I haven’t been the most communicative or involved recently.”  
  
“Hey, you’re here.” Asami stretches out her hand for Korra to take. “That’s all that matters.”  
  
“I guess,” Korra shrugs, grabbing Asami’s hand and instantly being pulled down on the chair Asami was sitting on. She feels Asami’s arms wrap around her and she falls into the feeling of comfort. Then the feeling of sadness overtakes her again, as she buries her head in the crook of Asami’s neck. “There’s so much I want to tell you, but I don’t know how. I—don’t know how you’d take it, or view me.”  
  
“Korra,” Asami says, trying to look down at her girlfriend. “Korra, look at me.”  
  
And Korra’s scared to look at Asami. Scared to face those glistening green eyes that could read her like a book. Everything felt so big, yet she felt so small curled up in the office chair next to her girlfriend. Her wonderful, understanding girlfriend. The one who had never left her side the whole time she was wallowing in her anger and self-pity. And Korra loved and hated that. Because Asami was so good, and she just came up a short a million different ways.

And Asami stuck by her side, for three years. Through three years of lies, of moments that she had missed, of space that Korra knew damn well she couldn’t fill in Asami’s life because of who she was.

And boy, did that hurt.  
  
Especially because if someone asked Korra three years ago if this is where she saw herself, she’d disagree. She never thought that it would go this far, or that she’d make such a mess of something so wonderful. Or that words would fail, and she’d have nothing to say. Nothing to explain all the things she’s done. The only thing that she can come up with was that they were happy, and Korra guesses that she couldn’t let that go or give it up. She really wanted to believe, because then she could pretend that she was something other than the broken parts of her, pretend she was something other than the mess that she had become.  
  
And she swore that she’d never let anyone see the worst of her. But then she told Unalaq, she broke down and confided in him. Told him of the person she became, and she finally felt free. But now, curled into Asami’s side like a child who’s afraid of thunder, she doesn’t know how to feel at all.  
  
Korra knows it’s been minutes since Asami had asked her to look at her, but she still hasn’t been able to let herself do so. She was absolutely terrified that the pain and uncertainty that plagued her eyes would give away everything that she hasn’t been able to say. Everything that she’s tried to keep hidden.  
  
She can feel Asami rubbing soft circles into her back, comforting her, and Korra sinks into the feeling. She lets her breathing try to even out, tries to put her façade back up so that she can look at her girlfriend.  
  
“I’m sorry.” Korra mutters into Asami’s shoulder as she lifts her head up; piercing, worried green eyes studying her own. “I—I… It’s been a rough week…”  
  
“We don’t have to talk about it, if you don’t want. Whatever’s going on through that head of yours, it’s your story to tell. And while, yes,” Asami sighs, “It hurts not knowing what’s bothering you, I also want you to know that you don’t have to explain anything to me. Your feelings are valid as they are, okay?”  
  
Korra nods, closing the gap and placing a soft, chaste kiss on Asami’s lips. “What did I ever do to deserve someone as wonderful as you?”

  
“You were yourself. Your funny, smart, goofy smiled self. And I love you.” Asami beams proudly, and Korra can feel a bit of guilt pang through her heart. Asami thought so highly of her, but if only she knew.  
  
“I love you, too.”

* * *

The rest of the day went off without a hitch. They had lunch, shared memories, and laughed. And while Korra still felt rather reclusive and distant, she did her best to throw those feelings to the side so she could enjoy the last couple of hours with her girlfriend.  
  
“So, I’ll be back in hopefully three to four days.” Asami says over her shoulder as she and Korra walk through the hangar. Korra admired the planes that stood there, shining and just waiting to be flown. She watches as Asami goes to her personal plane, and starts throwing on her pilot’s gear. “I’ll call you as soon as I land.”  
  
“I’m going to miss you.” Korra replies sadly, looking down at the ground while kicking her feet.  
  
“You sound like this is the last time you’re ever going to see me again.” Asami ponders out loud, moving towards Korra and placing a hand on her shoulder.  
  
 _Because it just might be…_  
  
“I still want to tell you everything… Everything that could make all of this,” she gestures between her and Asami, “go away.”

“I’m not going anywhere.” Asami reassures, but Korra’s not entirely convinced. She knew that the bombshell she’d eventually drop would make even Asami step back.  
  
“You say that now, but…” Korra looks to the side. “No matter how much you think you love someone, you’ll always step back when the edge of their blood pools too close.”  
  
“Korra,” Asami lets out, just above a whisper, “Korra… I—don’t know what to say to that. Do I need to stay? Do I need to be worried something’s going to happen?”  
  
“No, sorry. Metaphor…” Korra shakes her head. “You need to go. This is important to you and the industry.”  
  
“You’re important to me.”  
  
“I’ll be okay, I promise.” Korra tries to say convincingly. “I just—I just need to mull over everything. Maybe this will be good for me. Maybe, I can come up with a way to tell you what I’ve needed to tell you this whole time. I just—I can’t right now at this very moment.”  
  
“Take all the time you need,” Asami wraps her arms around Korra pulling her into a tight hug and Korra can feel the tears well in her eyes. “This isn’t goodbye, okay? Just ‘see ya later’.”  
  
“I know.” Korra sinks into the embrace, giving herself a lift to press her lips against her girlfriend’s in a searing kiss. “I love you.”  
  
“I love you, too. More than you’ll ever understand.” Asami smiles. She steps back and heads over to her plane, climbing up into the single person cockpit. “Four days, max. Then I’ll be back with you.”

* * *

Korra had stayed silent the entire ride back to the parking garage. Mako had taken them out to the hangar, and was now driving them back to Future Industry’s main building. He parks just outside the parking garage, switching the engine off and hopping out.  
  
“You okay?”  
  
“I’m fine, Mako. Thank you.”  
  
“Look, I know we’re not close, but you’re friends with my brother. You know I care about you. You just seem… sad.” Mako shrugs.  
  
“I’ll be okay, I promise.” Korra lies. Truth be told, she knew she wasn’t going to be okay. These next few days were going to be hell for her.  
  
“Alright, just figured I’d ask.” Mako lifts his hands defensively. “Just know that you can always talk to me, if you need.”  
  
“I appreciate it, Mako, really. I do.”  
  
“I’ll let you get going then. Have a good rest of your day, Korra.” Mako smiles genuinely and starts turning around to leave before he does a 180 and looks back at Korra. “Oh, I forgot to tell you, Asami had me manufacture a new engine for your motorcycle. It should be done by tomorrow and I’ll drop it off at the house. She figured you may want to work on your bike now that one of her cars isn’t taking up the whole garage.”  
  
“Oh, that’s cool, man.” Korra stutters out. _Damn that sweet, genuine girlfriend of mine._ “I—uh thanks!”  
  
“No problem, Korra. Take care.”  
  
Korra nods and heads towards the parking garage. It was a lot quieter than when she had come in, and she starts noticing something she hadn’t noticed before. An echo under the ground, like the hollow sound that she heard under the concrete of Hiroshi’s secret warehouse. A sound she was very well tuned in to.  
  
“It’s a big company, they probably have some underground warehouses. It was Hiroshi’s building at one point.” Korra tells herself as she walks towards her car, the echo growing louder in her ears. She shakes her head softly, chuckling at herself for even thinking what she was thinking.  
  
 _There’s **no** way that there’s something weird going on here. It’s just all in your head._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the cliffhanger, but y'all know I love them!
> 
> I'm trying to get this done by the end of July, however, my work schedule got changed and now I'm finding less time to write. But I promise this will be done in the next few weeks.
> 
> Also, there's some references in here I wonder if anyone picked up on... if you guess them, maybe I'll give you a preview of Chapter 7 before it's out ;)
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	7. Part Two: ...Of Humans Acting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone keeps questioning everything.
> 
> Part 2 of 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so we're almost here at the end!
> 
> I'm giving myself a week to finish the last chapter,  
> but this chapter is obviously done, and chapter 8 is as well.  
> I'll be posting that in a few days with a tentative date of July 31 for the end of the story!
> 
> Thanks for coming along on this journey with me :)

The next day flew by quickly, and Korra wakes up relatively early for her standards. She was shocked, to say the least, as she had been so exhausted from all of the emotions swirling in her head that she had to will herself to stay awake long enough to receive Asami’s phone call that she had landed in Ba Sing Se.  
  
Korra goes through her morning routine of stretching and yawning, a whine coming from the side of the bed. She looks over to see Naga, patiently waiting to be taken downstairs and let out.  
  
“Okay, okay.” Korra chuckles, finally getting out of the bed. “Let’s go.”  
  
She and Naga exit the bedroom, and Korra groans at the bright lights illuminating the house. “Shit, I guess I forgot to turn all the lights off last night. Don’t tell your other mom!”  
  
Naga barks happily as they make their way downstairs. Korra lets Naga out into the backyard and goes through the main level of the house, turning all the light switches off. She plops down on the couch, pulling her phone out and checking her text messages.  
  
 **[Asami 08:45]:** _Mako texted me. He said he’d be around by noon to drop off your new engine :) Oh, tools are in the workshop!_

 **[Tenzin 09:02]:** _Yes, I can drop your bike off today. Meelo wants to come with is that okay?_  
  
Korra sends replies to both Asami and her dad; thanking Asami for having Mako make her a new engine and telling her dad Meelo can come only if he’s willing to get his hands dirty and help her.

* * *

She lazes around for the rest of the morning until Tenzin and Meelo show up in Tenzin’s pickup truck, Korra’s custom blue Ducati Panigale V4 sitting in the bed of the truck. She smiles as Meelo hops out of the truck, running towards his sister.  
  
“Korra!” Meelo screeches. “Dad said I can help you with the motorcycle!”  
  
“That you can,” Korra smiles, patting him on the back. “Why don’t you go find some tools in Asami’s workshop.”  
  
“Okay!” Meelo exclaims running through the garage over to the attached workshop.  
  
Korra shakes her head, chuckling as she helps her dad remove the bike from his truck. “Thanks so much for bringing this over.”  
  
“Anything for you. How have you been?” Tenzin asks genuinely.  
  
“I’m good, excited to work on this!” Korra beams happily. “Mako should be here soon with the engine. Do you want me to bring Meelo home later?”  
  
“If you wouldn’t mind.”  
  
“I don—”  
  
“KORRA! THERE’S A LOCKED DRAWER IN HERE!” Meelo screams from the workshop.  
  
“One second!” Korra yells back. She turns to her dad. “Can you go around to the fence and let Naga out front for me? She’s been needy and acts out if she can’t see me when she knows I’m home.”  
  
“Of course.” Tenzin smiles.  
  
“KORRA, LOCKED DRAWER!!!!” Meelo repeats annoyingly.  
  
“Okay, I’m coming.” Korra rolls her eyes as she heads into the workshop, a bunch of tools laying in a pile on the ground that Meelo had tossed aside for them. “What drawer?”  
  
“This one!” Meelo points to the bottom drawer, pulling on it with all his might. “It’s stuck or locked.”  
  
“Move over little guy.” Korra kneels down and notices a small combination lock. She scrolls through the numbers, putting in what she thinks is the right password when the drawer clicks and becomes unlocked.  
  
She pulls the drawer open, a bunch of high-end tools sitting in a take-away tray. She grabs what she needs and looks over to the pile of tools Meelo had created. “Hmm.” She pulls the tray out and her eyes go wide. Under the tray, beneath a torque power drill, Korra notices the handle of something that she’s seen many times before. A gun.  
  
“Meelo, step back.” Korra says as she pulls the drill out, a 9mm Glock sitting at the bottom of the drawer. _Huh, Asami **hates** guns. Why would she have one in here?_

She quickly puts the tray back in and closes the drawer, locking it shut.

 _It must have been Hiroshi’s. He left a bunch of crap when he sold Asami the house **.**_ Korra quickly assumes and changes the narrative. That seemed like the best explanation for why there was a gun in the workshop. And since Korra has more than enough kid siblings that visited their house, the drawer was probably locked for good reasoning, as to not cause an accident.  
  
“What’s in there, Korra?” Meelo bothers as he’s trying to look over her shoulder, jumping up and down.  
  
“Nothing that concerns you, Meelo. Let’s get out of here.” Korra turns around, motioning for him to grab whatever tools he decided to pull out, whether they’d use them or not. They exit the workshop and head back to the empty parking space in the garage. Meelo dramatically groans as he dumps the tools on a workbench, flexing his small arm muscles.  
  
“What a workout! I’m pooped!”  
  
“We haven’t even started, Meelo.” Korra shakes her head, walking out of the garage to see Tenzin talking to Mako while patting Naga on the head. “Hey Mako.”  
  
“Korra, you seem to be in a better mood this morning.” Mako comments.  
  
“Well, I finally get to finish fixing this beauty, so I’m pretty excited.” Korra presses her lips together in a smile.  
  
“Is everything okay, Korra?” Tenzin asked, worriedly. “Have you not been feeling well?”  
  
Of course, this is how her dad reacts. Always worried at the mention of something being slightly wrong with one of his kids.  
  
“I’m fine, dad. I was just a little upset yesterday after Asami left.” A half lie, Korra figures it’d work well enough to get Mako and her dad off of her case.  
  
“Oh, understandable.” Tenzin breathes out a sigh of relief. “MEELO, STOP TOUCHING ASAMI’S CARS.”  
  
“But they’re soooo pretty, like she is. Why does Korra get the pretty lady and Meelo doesn’t?” Meelo frowns, causing Korra, Mako, and Tenzin to bust out laughing.  
  
“Well, I better head out.” Tenzin says, placing a hand on Korra’s shoulder. “If he gets to be too much, just tie him up and stuff him in a closet.”  
  
“Wow, dad… that’s harsh.” Korra chuckles, “I’m sure he’ll be fine.”  
  
“Right, well. I’m glad you took him off of my hands. Puberty with that boy.” Tenzin shudders in disgust. “Just call before you bring him home. So I can mentally prepare, maybe meditate.”  
  
“Will do.”  
  
Tenzin nods, and pulls Korra away from Mako and Meelo. “Are you sure you’re okay? You know you don’t have to put on a show of happiness for the benefits of others.”  
  
“I’m… Okay. Between you and me, no, I’m not really okay.” Korra admits, letting out a sigh that she had been holding in. “I mean I AM excited to work on the bike but only because it’s going to take my mind off of things.”

“I know you’re still upset about lying to Asami about Metal Clan, but maybe you should try talking to her. I just want you to be happy.” Tenzin places his hand on Korra’s shoulder.  
  
“I’m trying, I really am. I just don’t know how to start the conversation…” Korra chews on her lower lip in nervousness. “I always start to tell her and then I just… don’t. I’m scared of losing her…”  
  
“Maybe try talking to Naga. She’s a great listener and it’ll probably help to just, get it out.” Tenzin suggests. “I’m sure it’ll all work out, Asami loves you, you know. She looks at you the same way your mom looks at me. Like they think the world of us.”  
  
“I just don’t want that world to come crashing down around me when I finally admit that I’ve been lying to her since day one…” Korra’s eyes fall down to the ground, staring as she uneasily kicks her shoes against the pavement.  
  
“People will always surprise you, Korra. Just—give it some thought.”

* * *

The afternoon had gone surprisingly well. Meelo was a big help, if not at the actual mechanics, and more of a comic relief. It was nice having the extra set of hands around, even if she had to yell at Meelo a few times for trying to touch Asami’s many custom cars.  
  
By the time the sun was setting, they were finally done and Korra starts up her bike, the new engine roaring, yet purring at the same time. Korra searches through her stuff, finding a helmet small enough to fit Meelo’s head and stuffs it on him.  
  
“Now, you have to promise me to hold on tightly, don’t lean the opposite way when we’re turning, and try to sit still, okay?”  
  
“Okay!”  
  
They had thankfully made it back to their parents’ house in one piece, even if Meelo had accidentally leaned against the turn and not with it. He was small enough that Korra could regain control.

As she heads back home for the night, she’s smiling, genuinely smiling for the first time in what felt like forever. Spending time with her family was really what she had needed. Not that spending time with Asami was bad, but with the ever-growing lie that Korra was still trying to find a way to explain to her, it felt more like a burden.  
  
Korra walks into the house, shrouded in darkness. She had completely forgotten that she had turned ALL of the lights off earlier in the day, and didn’t even leave a small lamp on so that she could see when she returned. She could hear Naga walking around the main floor, her legs silhouetted as she passes by Asami’s office.  
  
“Weird.” Korra says, noticing the light illuminating from under the door. She hadn’t even noticed that Asami left the lights in her office on.Korra flips on a small lamp near the living room before heading towards Asami’s office. She opens the door slowly and looks around. She hadn’t spent too much time in Asami’s office, as she had one of her own upstairs. She revels in how it looks, a giant bookcase with blue accent lights to the left, Asami’s neat, organized desk straight ahead, and a bunch of blueprints hanging on easels to the right.  
  
She approaches the bookcase, admiring all of the works that Asami had collected over the years. In a few empty spaces stood framed photos from Asami’s life. The blue accent lights gave the bookcase this wonderful atmospheric glow, that seemed to work really well. Her attention then turns to the desk, piles of paperwork stacked neatly next to the computer. A photo album/scrapbook closed on the right side of the desk captures Korra’s eye, and she sits down in Asami’s chair and opens it, flipping through and looking at the photos.  
  
 **[Photo of Asami, Hiroshi, and Yasuko]**  
 _Mom, dad, and me: Age 4  
  
_ **[Photo of Asami and Yasuko, in the garden with Asami holding a small hand shovel]**  
 _Mom teaching me how to garden! Age 5_  
  
 **[Photo of Asami and Yasuko sitting at a game table, playing Pai Sho]**  
 _Learning a new game with mom. Age 7_  
  
 **[Photo of Asami smiling widely, looking under the hood of a car]**  
 _I get to fix something! Age 7_  
  
 **[Photo of Asami holding up a small device, goofy, bright smile on her face]**  
 _My first invention! Age 9_

 **[Photo of Asami, Yasuko, and Hiroshi dressed up in cowboy attire]  
** _Old Western Family Photo, Age 9._

 **[Photo of Yasuko and Hiroshi, facing each other holding hands and smiling]**  
Happy Anniversary to the best parents ever. March, 7th 2004

**[Photo of Yasuko in a wheelchair after chemotherapy, smiling widely]**   
_Mom’s going to beat this! She’s tough._

**[Photo of Asami, Yasuko, and Hiroshi in the park]**   
_Took mom out for a walk today. Can’t wait for more. Age 10._

**[Photo of Asami curled up next to Yasuko, in a hospital bed]**   
_Last day with mom… Age 10_

  
**[Photo of Yasuko’s headstone, flowers gently leaning against it]**  
 _Brought mom flowers from our garden today._

**[Photo of a teenage Asami, awkwardly smiling in front of Republic City High School]**   
_First day of high school. Wish mom was here._

**[Photo of Asami in a graduation gown and Hiroshi next to her, both neutrally staring]**   
_Graduated high school today. Mom would’ve been proud._

**[Photo of Asami holding up her degree]  
** _Finished college today. On to uphold the family legacy, I go._

**[Photo of the bat keychain that Asami had given Korra when they first met]**   
_I accidentally hurt someone today. I saw she liked bats, so hopefully she’ll like this!_

**[Photo of Korra holding up the bat keychain, loopy from surgery with a giant smile on her face]**   
_She liked it :)_

**[Photo of Korra with her goofy, lopsided smile at a dinner table; noodles in front of her]**   
_First real date with this cute human._   
  
**[Photo of Korra and Asami’s legs dangling over the edge of a rock, their hands entwined together]**   
_Our first hike at Air Temple Island_

**[Photo of Korra and Asami on a ferris wheel, Asami shoving cotton candy in Korra’s face.]**   
_I’m so madly in love with you, goof._

**[Photo of Korra and Asami, smiling widely and holding up a Great Pyrenees puppy]**   
_My girlfriend got a puppy, oh my stars._

**[Photo of Korra carrying boxes, a playful glare on her face as she stares at the camera]**  
 _Guess who’s moving in today? This beautiful creature._  
  
 **[Photo of Korra sleeping with a 6 month Naga on the couch]**  
 _My girls. One day, Naga will be too big for you guys to continue to do this.  
  
_ **[Photo of Korra and Asami curled up on the couch. Korra holding onto to Asami]**  
 _Where I feel the safest, in your arms_

**[Photo of a full-grown Naga laying on top of Korra on the couch]**   
_I guess she’ll never be too big for this_

**[Photo of Korra and Asami walking hand in hand down the street]**   
_The moments our friends capture that I never want to end_

**[Photo of Asami laughing, raising her hand up as if to cover the camera lens]  
** _Hey, taking photos of you is my job!_

**[Photo of Korra sticking her tongue out at Asami as they walk down the beach at Kyoshi Island]**   
_Vacation shenanigans, look at how happy we are._

Korra sighs loudly as she stares at the last photo. After Asami’s mom had passed away, it looked like Asami didn’t really document much of her life until Korra came into the picture. And that causes an emotional storm to stir inside Korra. She had given Asami a reason to start documenting her life again, to start smiling and saving photos and memories. And it was all based on a lie.  
  
The uneasiness settles in the pit of Korra’s stomach as she flips off the light to the bookcase, then heads back towards the door. She kills the lights for the rest of the office, about ready to leave when she turns her attention back towards Asami’s desk. Something looked different.

“Oh, right.” Korra says to herself. “She keeps the bookshelf lights on at all times.”  
  
Korra paces back across the office and walks back towards the bookcase in the dark, a very faint, dim blue light cascading on the walls of one of the shelves.  
  
“Huh.” Korra flips the switch for the accent lights back on, and the blue glow mixes in with the rest of the lights. She then flips it back off and notices that it’s still there. “Did this thing short circuit or something?”  
  
Korra delicately moves Asami’s books over to check to see why this one stupid, faint blue light wouldn’t shut off. As she pushes the books to the side, a small electronic keypad with a blue back-glow appears in her vision.  
  
“UHM. What?” Korra furrows her brow as she stares at it. “Weird. Probably a safe or something? I mean, this _was_ Hiroshi’s house. It’d make sense.”  
  
Korra comes up with excuse after excuse as to why this small little keypad was there. She even tries to type in passcodes that would mean that this was something installed by Hiroshi, like his anniversary date that she found in the photo album, or Asami’s birthday. But when each passcode fails, she quickly types in one she knew Asami used for everything, and she means everything. It was the same combination of numbers that allowed her to open up the locked toolbox drawer, or that Asami used to password protect her phone and laptop.  
  
A green light and a beep signal the code was accepted, and Korra steps back as the bookcase starts moving, eyes wide as she stares at what’s behind it.  
  
 _No. Fucking. Way._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay yeah, I know  
> "CLIFFHANGERS"
> 
> But it's worth it, I swear. 
> 
> I'll be releasing chapter 8 on July 27th  
> And the final chapter once again is tentatively July 31st


	8. I Know (Where Your Heartache Exists)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are about to get a whole lot worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> T/W: Mentions of suicide/death
> 
> This is a fucking heavy ass chapter, so be prepared.

_Tuesday_   
**[Asami 20:02]:** wrapped up a day early, so I’ll be home tomorrow  
 **[Korra 20:43]:** _Can’t wait_  
 **[Asami 20:50]:** You okay?  
 **[Korra 21:12]:** _Yeah, I’m good.  
_ **[Asami 21:14]:** Okay.. Well, I love you. I’ll see you tomorrow.

* * *

 _‘Hi, you’ve reached Korra. I’m not here so like, leave a message! -beep-‘  
_  
“Hey, I’m just checking in. I haven’t heard from you since last night. Call me when you get this.”

 **[Asami 08:43]:** hey, I’m leaving now. I’ll be back around noon. Lunch at FI?  
 **[Asami 12:15]:** just checking in again.  
 **[Asami 12:24]:** I’ll take a rain check for lunch then!  
 **[Asami 15:30]:** I know you’re probably busy but I love you!  
 **[Asami 16:40]:** I won’t lie. I’m a little concerned about you. Please text me back.

**3 Missed Calls (Asami)**

**[Asami: 17:55]:** Okay. Maybe I’m overreacting but I haven’t heard from you since last night so I’m coming home...  
  
 _‘Asami, what’s going on?’  
  
_ “Have you heard from Korra today?” Asami asks as her fingers grip the steering wheel, eyes narrowing as she races home. “Or anytime this week? She isn’t answering and I’m worried about her.”

 _‘I haven’t seen or heard from her in a few days, but that’s normal for me. Let me ask Pema if she’s heard anything.’_  
  
Asami hears rustling around on the other end of the phone before Tenzin’s voice returns and pulls her out of her daze.  
  
 _‘Pema hasn’t heard from her either. I’m sure she’s fine. I saw a few days ago when I dropped off her motorcycle. She even came over and hung out for a little after she brought Meelo back home and seemed to be in high spirits.’_   
  
“Okay, thank you, Tenzin. I’m sorry for bothering you.” Asami hangs up the call and sighs loudly.

The house looks eerily quiet as Asami pulls into the driveway, waiting for the garage door to open. She can tell by the outside that only a few lights are on in the house. Relief washes over her as she sees Korra’s car in the garage.

_Maybe she just slept all day._

Asami parks her car and exits, looking around the garage. Nothing seemed out of place, so she enters the house.

“Korra!?” Asami calls out as she paces around the main level. “Korra, I’m home!”

Her voice echoes through the halls, but no voice replies to her. Asami could feel the uneasiness settle in her stomach as she walks over to the coffee table, Korra’s phone and laptop sitting neatly on the surface.

She arches an eyebrow as she heads upstairs, checking Korra’s office, which stood untouched since the last time Asami had helped her clean it up a month ago. Then she moved on to the bedroom, worry rising through her body when all she finds is Naga, whining with her head tucked between her front paws.

Asami then moves to the closet, but everything looked the same as it did a few days ago. She starts thinking of the worst, noting Korra’s behavior before she left, but quickly puts those thoughts to rest.   
  
_She said she wanted to take a day trip on her bike. She probably just forgot her phone._ Asami tries to convince herself.

Her footsteps echo loudly through the giant house as she quickly heads downstairs to her office. The blue lights still shining over her books that stood in the exact same place she had left them. The contents on her desk still organized, everything seemed untouched and in place, except for one small detail. The photo album that she had left on her desk now lay open. She examines it and notices a picture missing, replaced by a note.

**_I’m sorry, but I just wanted this one memory before everything ends._ **

The caption under the note indicates exactly which photo Korra took. The ferris wheel photo. The day that Asami had told Korra she loved her. It was by far one of her favorite photos and now it was gone, along with her girlfriend.

“FUCK!” Asami screams, tears running down her face as she makes her way back to the living room. Korra couldn’t have just left her, right? She couldn’t have just assumed that Asami was never coming back? Korra had been acting extremely distant, and borderline suicidal, but it doesn’t mean she actually _did_ that, right? Asami doesn’t know who’s trying to convince anymore.

On the coffee table is Korra’s phone, laptop, and a small wooden box. She picks up Korra’s phone and only sees notifications that she had sent to Korra. She unlocks the phone and is hit with the realization that something was wrong. Korra’s phone was completely wiped. The only number in her phone was Asami’s and all of her photos, text messages, phone calls, and apps were gone. 

Asami bites her lips nervously as she opens the lid to Korra’s laptop, noticing that it had also been scrubbed and factory reset. 

She slams the laptop lid shut and bites her lower lip as she grabs the wooden box next. She carefully opens it, another note waiting inside. She pulls the note out, paying no mind to the contents of the box.  
  
 ** _Asami, this is for you. I won’t need it anymore._**  
  
Asami looks down into the box and sees a ring, still sitting between the cushions that held it upright. It was, what Asami assumed, to be an engagement ring. Her heart flutters and breaks at the same time as she carefully removes it from the box. It was a 3 stone ring with a gold band, two garnets on the outside and a sapphire in the middle, very her and Korra. Her eyes stream tears as she slips it on her finger, everything becoming too real for her. The realization that Korra was gone, but in what sense, she doesn’t know, but she had an idea.  
  
Emotions flooded over her. Korra was gone, but was she alive? Did she just leave everything behind? Did she kill herself?   
  
_No. No. No._ Asami repeats in her head as she runs to the closet, the latter sticking in her brain. _She couldn’t have possibly done… could she?_ __

She frantically opens a drawer and presses in a passcode. She needed answers. And she knew where to get them. The mold of Korra’s handgun was gone, a small USB stick sitting in its place. She picks it up and on a small sticky note attached to the back read ‘goodbye’.  
  
“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!” Asami falls to the ground sobbing, clutching the USB to her chest. “You really did this, didn’t you?”  
  
Asami pulls herself up off the ground and sulks back to her office, the USB stick leaving imprints in her hand by how tightly she was holding it. She sits down at her computer, plugging the USB into the port and waits for the contents to load.

A folder shows up with a message:  
 **This file is password protected. Hint: the day you told me you loved me**.

Asami instantly types in the password. It’s the one she used for everything. Like literally everything. It’s the same date from that photo that Korra had taken with her.

The folder opens and Asami sees a video. She holds her breath as she double clicks the file, waiting for her computer to load it, the anticipation killing her.

Korra appears on the screen, hair disheveled, eyes bloodshot and puffy from crying; an empty shell of the woman that Asami loved.

**‘Uh—Hi, Asami. This is… this is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. And it sucks, you know? Because I don’t know where to turn if I can’t turn to you. I know that I’ve made a lot of mistakes in our relationship, probably enough to last us a lifetime, but if you’re watching this video it means I’m either dead or will be soon.’**

Asami’s heart breaks at the words, and she watches as the Korra on the screen rubs the back of her neck before continuing.

**‘But uh, don’t worry… it won’t be by my own hand. Sorry if my cryptic notes made you think that. I—just… uh I haven’t been myself lately.**

**And you know exactly why I’ll probably be dead soon; you found this after all. In a hidden compartment in our house which I assume you knew had been there, since you knew from the moment that we “met by accident” who I was and what I did. Can’t say I’m disappointed I didn’t know... for the last three years I’ve been struggling with my guilt and my inability to tell you the truth. It’s drained me, honestly. And then I overhead you on the phone... telling someone that if I were ever to propose to you, you couldn’t accept it and that they knew why. So instead of proposing, I left the ring for you to do with it as you see fit. Although, I’m sure whoever it was you told that to is probably on their way to kill me right now, so that’s fun. -chuckles-**

**Well, if they can find me. It’s obvious that I did my best to cover my tracks… Left my phone, laptop, car, Naga… I shredded all of my cards and grabbed the cash I was storing away in case shit went south, which it did… I obviously fled when I found the secret tunnel that led from our house to an underground compound beneath your very own Future Industries. There were files of Bolin, Opal, Kuvira, and me strewn about. And the White Lotus symbol on the monitor coupled along with the voice changer was all the proof I needed to know that you were the one who hired me. You were the one who told me to kill your dad and then lie to you about it. My only question is... why?’  
  
** Asami closes her eyes and takes in Korra’s words, every last one of them. She exhales loudly as she continues to watch the video.

**‘Why also not want to break things off if you knew my way of getting intel was ‘dating’ you? I’m just trying to rack my brain around it. That day after I killed your father, did you mean what you said? That you were falling for me? Or was that a ploy to keep an eye on me?**

**I mean, I had hunches… you know, in the last few days that you were hiding something, I just never thought it’d be this. I tried to explain away the underground compound when I heard it echo through the parking garage. I tried to explain away the gun I found in your locked toolbox drawer. I even tried to explain the way the crazy hidden keypad in the bookshelf. Everything I tried to explain away until I was face first with the headquarters. I tried so hard to believe that I was just imagining things, but I wasn’t.**

**I don’t know. My mind is fried by now. Once I found out, I gave myself a couple of days, and I packed up and left Republic City, but you probably already know where I am. I mean, the White Lotus knows all, don’t you? I guess I’ll see you sometime in the future. Or not. Who knows?**

**I, uh, I sure don’t. Well, anyways, I better stop recording and uh, you know, flee.**

Asami shakes her head and lets out a hesitant chuckle. Even in the face of danger, Korra was still… being Korra

**‘But if it’s any consolation, I do love you and I do care about you. Even though I lied to you for three years doesn’t mean my feelings have changed. But I guess you were too, so I’m just... confused.**

**Anywhooo. It was nice spending the last three years with you, it really was, even if it was mild torture.’**

Asami watches as Korra moves to go shut the camera off before her eyes go wide.

**‘OH, I also will not tell anyone what I know. Not Bolin or Opal or Kuvira, not my family. So if you could uhm, please, spare them, they have no idea I left.**

**So uh, yeah, bye.’**

“She needs to be eliminated.” A gruff voice says from behind Asami. She had been so caught up in the video that she didn’t even hear Zaheer enter from the secret tunnel. “She’s rogue, and she knows too much.”  
  
“No, let her go. She already said she left without telling anyone. Our secret is safe.” Asami grips onto the desk, trying her best not to let the tears fall from her eyes.  
  
“She needs to be eliminated, Asami.” He repeats. “She’s already broken protocol once. She cannot be trusted. Or need I remind you of what happened with Unalaq?”  
  
“I didn’t call that hit, you did. He never showed up on our radar, yet you sent her after him.” Asami narrows her eyes, turning around to look at Zaheer. “You sent her after an innocent man, her own flesh and blood just to punish her!”   
  
“OF COURSE, I DID!” Zaheer screams at Asami. “She was going to ruin everything and for what? For you? So that you two could live happily ever after?”

“Do you ever hear yourself, Zaheer!? If anything, sending her after Unalaq only made her want to tell the truth more. The minute that you sent her after her uncle, she stopped believing in this cause.” Asami snaps, her hand wound tightly in a fist. “I won’t let you go after her."

“Asami, DO NOT let your feelings for her cloud your judgement.” Zaheer says through gritted teeth. “She _needs_ to be eliminated.”  
  
“She’s of no threat to us, Zaheer. She’s fucking gone! You probably wouldn’t be able to find her anyway.” Asami spits back, the rage burning behind her green eyes. “Let it go.”  
  
“You’re really going to push this, aren’t you? You were the one who started this movement—”   
  
“And I’m the one who will end it if it means keeping Korra alive.”  
  
“I knew it. You’re weak.” Zaheer chuckles hauntingly, towering over Asami as he grabs the collar of her shirt. “Mark my words, Asami. If you don’t find and kill her, I will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELP.  
> That was that...  
> I wrote this chapter before I even started most of this story, to be honest.
> 
> Final Chapter coming to you in 4 days!  
> Then, I'll ask a very important question!


	9. I've Tried Running, I've Tried Hiding, I've Tried Everything But Dying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end of this rollercoaster ride of a story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> T/W: Death, violence, blood/gore

It had been three days since Korra left Republic City, left her family and Asami behind. But she couldn’t stay. She knew that she was putting herself in danger by knowing that Asami was one of the head honchos at The White Lotus.  
  
Every memory of their past plays through Korra’s head as she lays in the crappy, stiff bed at the Misty Palms Inn, a lowkey enough place for her to hide for the time being. She wonders how many signs she had missed from the past, signs that could have told her that she wasn’t the only one lying.

She thinks back to the day when Asami had told her about her father’s death, and while Korra obviously knew that Hiroshi was dead, Asami didn’t seem entirely too torn up about it. Korra chalked it up to be the way Asami grieved with things, and left it at that. But it finally started to make sense. Of course, Asami wasn’t as upset as one would be losing their parents, she was the one who called the hit on her own father.

But Korra also knew that Asami didn’t work alone, she obviously couldn’t have talked to Korra when she called the White Lotus while they were on Kyoshi Island. But it started making a lot of sense; Korra’s phone blowing up with text messages as Asami’s ‘dealing with work stuff’, Asami constantly ‘forgetting something in the car’ that caused her to probably go out to the workshop to put her gun away. It reminded Korra of herself, when she would always double check that Asami wasn’t around before opening her secret compartment in their closet. Then her mind moves to watching her fellow agent, Kuvira, leaving Asami’s office. Did Kuvira know? What about Bolin and Opal? Was Korra the only one who was left out of the loop?

There were clues right in front of her face and Korra felt stupid that she hadn’t noticed these things earlier.

She moves her attention to the photo that she had taken from the photo album, almost staring holes through it as she replays the memory in her mind. Was their whole relationship a lie? Just some sick way of Asami keeping tabs on her to make sure the integrity of The White Lotus wasn’t at stake? Did Asami actually love her? She thinks about tearing the photo up, but she knows her brain was probably overreacting a bit. Of course, Asami loved her. Or at least she thinks she did. If Korra could lie during an entire relationship, just to protect the one she loved, she could assume that Asami maybe, just maybe, did the same.

She wonders how Asami felt right now. How she felt when she finally noticed that Korra was gone. And then she wonders what would have happened if she had stayed, if she had confronted Asami face to face. Would there still be a target on her back? She could only assume that someone at The White Lotus would know that she knew, and come after her regardless of what decisions she had made. She felt like maybe, sparing Asami from the blowback was the best course of action.

Her back starts aching and Korra groans, stretching her arms, the tightness of the stitches pulling on her healing skin. She grimaces and winces in pain and discomfort as she sits up and looks around the room. She digs through her duffel bag that she had brought with her and pulls out a knife, carefully using the blade to severe the knots in the stitches and remove them from her arm. Since she had fled, she never went back to the hospital to have Kya remove them, and Korra knew if whoever was after caught up, that they’d probably forcibly rip them out of her skin as a torture tactic.  
  
She shudders at the thought. 

And then she thinks that maybe she’s just ready to go out in a hail of bullets. Maybe she’s okay with dying, that she’s okay with her fate.  
  
Maybe.

* * *

_‘No signs of her on Kyoshi Island or Harbor City.’_ The report comes through.  
  
“Keep looking. She couldn’t have just fallen off the face of the earth.”

* * *

By day four, Korra’s getting cabin fever. She knows it’s probably time to move soon, but she had no idea where to go. She was lucky that she had stumbled across Misty Palms Oasis, knowing that it’d be a good place to hide. CCTV was a thing too far into the future for the small desert town, so she knew that The White Lotus couldn’t hack into the system and check cameras, locating her. She was sure of that the second she hit the Si Wong Desert. It seemed like a lot of wanderers came to this town, whether to find refuge or refuel after some hardened battle.  
  
A place for degenerates to go to get away.

She had just left a small ‘Mom and Pop’ shop, clutching the burner phone she had purchased tightly in her hand. She knew she shouldn’t put anyone in danger, but she also knew that she needed to say her goodbyes before it was too late. Especially since she had planned to leave Misty Palms Oasis within the next day.  
  
She makes it back to her room at the inn, sitting on the edge of the bed, fingers hovering over the keypad of the small flip phone. Her nerves going crazy as she dials the number, putting the phone up to her ear.  
  
It rings for awhile before it hits voicemail.  
  
_‘You’ve reached Tenzin Wan’s Law Firm, we are unavailable to take your call. Please leave your name, number, and a detailed message, and we will get back to you as time allows. Thanks.’_  
  
“Hey… Dad.” Korra breathes out, the anxiety rising in her chest as she continues. “I’m sorry I didn’t call your cell phone, but uh—I know that the firm doesn’t have caller ID and that’s what’s best right now…”  
  
The tears start welling up in Korra’s eyes, and she starts choking on her own voice. “I just—I need you and mom to know that I—I love you. And that you were the best parents I could have ever asked for. And that the kids are the best brothers and sisters I could have asked for, too. I can’t tell you much more of anything. I left, I’m sure you already know this. I’m sure you guys are looking for me… But uh—I don’t want to be found. I’m sorry that I can’t tell you much more than that.”  
  
Korra lets out the deep breath she had been holding in, trying to regain some form of composure. “If you see Asami, tell her I’m sorry, too. Okay? I just—I can’t face her, not after everything that has happened. I love you.”  
  
She shuts the flip phone, ending the call. She lets out a sob, holding herself as she continues to shake, her breathing ragged. She throws the phone on the ground, stomping her foot into it and watching it smash into pieces. She curls into the fetal position and holds her knees close to her chest, trying to find some solace in her shitty situation. She tries to hold on to her memories of her life; all the smiles that she had as a kid with her siblings and parents, all of the love she had felt from them and from Asami. She tries to hold on to the cuddle sessions with Naga on the couch, or of the now fleeting feeling of Asami wrapped in her arms at night.  
  
She thinks about pushing them to the back of her mind, but she knew that if she were to die soon, that she’d want to remember all of the good parts, not the broken ones.  
  
Korra finally settles into some deranged form of comfort as she plans her next move: live or die, she always had a plan.

* * *

_‘Boss, we’ve located her.’_

“Excellent.”

* * *

The town is quiet as Korra sneaks out of her room at the inn in the middle of the night, duffel bag tightly against her back. She grabs her motorcycle and starts it up, sighing loudly as she stuffs her helmet on her head. She came from the east, so she figures she could head west and see where that takes her. After all, nothing was certain at this point.  
  
She starts heading away, ignoring the scenery and focusing at the task on hand; make it out as quickly as possible.  
  
The moon was shining brightly, and Korra was thankful for the extra light so she could see down the deserted road she was traveling on. The rumble of her engine is loud in her ears, and she doesn’t notice the distinct, faint sound of a gunshot. It isn’t until she’s throw into the air after a bullet hits her wheel that she knows they’ve found her. She hits the ground hard, rolling into the sand, a cloud of dust swirling in the air around her.  
  
And then everything goes black.

* * *

A small dot moves across the map, eyes narrowing as a location is checked. The room is filled with the echo of a magazine being loaded into a gun, of the door slamming shut.  
  
“I’m on my way.”

* * *

The smell of sand and earth fill Korra’s nostrils as she comes to. There’s a sticky splotch of blood that had trickled down her face, from what she could only assume is a head injury. Her body feels weak, and she can see bruises and road rash painted across her forearms.  
  
“What the—” She mutters as she tries to gather her surroundings. “Hit me with a bat or something?”  
  
She’s dizzy and on the verge of losing consciousness again, but she does her best to stay awake. She lifts her head, looking around the room. “Where am I?” She manages to get out before the blow to her head takes over and she’s slumped forward.  
  
“You’re still in Misty Palms Oasis,” a voice says from behind her. “Just hidden. Once you’re gone, the White Lotus will be no more and the Red Lotus will flourish.”  
  
There’s a moment of silence before he speaks again.  
  
“I’m sorry, Korra… It wasn’t supposed to end like this.” A voice says and Korra can tell it’s rather disingenuous. 

With her hands bound behind her back, her head slouched, she stares at the ground. She can hear the echo of the shoes clanking against the cold concrete that her knees are resting upon.

She waits until the shoes of the person are in sight, and with the majority of strength that she has, spits the blood pouring from her mouth at them.

“Fuck. You.” She says between breaths, her body growing weaker from the beating she recently took.

Korra watches as the man moves behind her, the cold metal from the barrel of a gun pressed to the back of her head. She hears the distinct noise of the hammer of a revolver being pulled back.

“Any last words, Wan?” The armed person asks as their finger grazes the trigger.

“If you have to end my life, then do it already.” Korra says through gritted teeth. “Just fucking do it!”

“Eliminating the threat in 10-9-8-7-6-…”  
  
“Why’d you start at 10? Like dude, if you were going to kill me just pull the trigger.” She isn’t sure where this came from, but she can assume the head injury was really starting to get to her now.

“5-4-3…” He continues, not letting her idea of a ‘joke’ phase him.  
  
Korra squeezes her eyes shut, bearing her teeth as she gets ready for what’s coming to her.  
  
“2-1—” A gunshot echoes through the room and the sound of a body thudding against the floor brings Korra back into reality. _Wait, what?_

Korra musters up whatever strength she has to look behind her, the man, who she now recognized as Zaheer, Asami’s old assistant at Future Industries, was laying on the ground bleeding profusely from his head. She does her best to look behind her further, seeing the one person she never thought she’d see again.

“Asami.”  
  
Asami was standing there, eyes narrowed and holding the gun out, presumably at the height in which she needed to shoot Zaheer in the back of the head. Korra can hear her footsteps hurry over towards her, and suddenly, the feeling of Asami’s hand is against her cheek.  
  
“How did you find me?”  
  
“I didn’t.” Asami says as she holsters her gun, kneeling in front of her. There are tears streaming down her face and those green eyes that Korra loved were full of fear. “I found him.”  
  
“Man, I love that big, sexy, juicy brain of yours.” Korra smirks as the lightheadedness takes over. “But ya think you could use that brain to uh—untie me?”  
  
“Oh.” Asami regains her composure as she unties Korra. “Right, sorry.”  
  
“Why are you here?” Korra asks as Asami helps her up, supporting her as the start exiting the room.  
  
“Because I love you. And I wasn’t going to let him kill you.”  
  
“Are you going to kill me?” Korra tries to look at Asami, but the pain shooting through her body is too much for her to handle right now.  
  
“No, I—” Asami hesitates. “I can explain everything, but right now… We need to leave.”  
  
“Okay.” Korra nods. She holds on to Asami’s hand that’s gripping her shoulder and trying to keep her steady when she feels a ring under Asami’s glove. “Hey you’re totally wearing the thingy I left you. Are you—Does that mean you’re my fiancée now? Or are we even still dating? How’s Na—”  
  
“Korra, less questions, more escaping. Please, let’s just get out of here and then you can ask all the questions you want, okay?” Asami quips back, groaning as she struggles to keep her and Korra moving forward.  
  
“You’re like—super badass for saving me.” Korra goofily smiles, slowly falling out of consciousness and becoming a deadweight for Asami. “My head—hurts.”  
  
“Shit.” Asami mumbles as Korra passes out. She sits her down, propping her up against a wall. She uses her hand to see if she can wake Korra, gently tapping the side of her face. “Come on, get up. Korra, come on!”  
  
“Mmm hi.” Korra looks up at Asami, half-lidded eyes doing their best to focus. “I love you.”   
  
“Korra, we have to go, now.” 

Korra nods, letting Asami help her back to her feet. She struggles to walk, but uses the support of Asami to help them make some progress.  
  
“Where are…” Korra trails off, trying her hardest not to pass out again. “Where are we going?”

“Anywhere, but here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Fin.**
> 
> Well, I think that this was a fun ride for me, and maybe y'all?  
> So now the real question needs to be asked: Sequel or Prequel first?  
> Which would you like to see before the other?
> 
> Prequel = Moments of their relationship over the last 3 years from switching POV  
> Sequel = Going through the trial and tribulations of their new found truths and trying to navigate their relationship after everything's that happened. 
> 
> Vote! :D

**Author's Note:**

> All the titles of chapters and Title of this story are either lyrics or songs from one of my favorite bands, The Menzingers. I’ll leave them below, in case you wanna check them out :) 
> 
> “Tellin’ Lies” from Tellin’ Lies  
> “Years of Idleness and Spite” from I Don’t Want To Be An Asshole Anymore  
> “Is It Wrong to Say That Things Can Change?” from Tellin’ Lies  
>   
> “Petrified of Where Our Future’s Going” from Your Wild Years  
> “All I Ever Wanted Was To Make Things Right” from Transient Love  
> “You’ve Yet To See The Worst Of Humans Acting” from In Remission  
> “I Know (Where Your Heartache Exists) from Where Your Heartache Exists  
> “I’ve Tried Running, I’ve Tried Hiding, I’ve Tried Everything but Dying” from Rodent  
> “Taken Hostage By My Own Guilty Conscience” from Tellin’ Lies


End file.
